• Benjie commented on the post, spiked 4 years, 3 months ago

    Spoked, like the wheels, spooked, like the horse, spiked, like his hair, way back then, ’97, you know? That’s the way it was. Things just were that way, left and right, rise and set, ebb and flow, hair and spikes. He wasn’t much, but at least he was dependable.

  • Benjie commented on the post, boyfriend 4 years, 3 months ago

    He’s mine.

    No really, he’s my property. He signed himself over, full contract, it’s not actually legal of course but for the law of our souls, it’s irrefutable. For life, until the day he dies and even past, his body, his heart, his mind, belong to me. To do with or do away with as I wish.

    Sigh.

    Love always makes me weepy.

  • Benjie commented on the post, globe 4 years, 3 months ago

    glowb. A ball. Light. Not the sun, too small and not hot enough and far too close to be that. It’s a glowb. It follows you around, finds the dark corners, makes them less dark. It’s AI is simple, but effective. You feel bad for it, because sometimes, when it’s in a particularly dark place, it keeps going from one dark corner to another, never able…[Read more]

  • Benjie commented on the post, soar 4 years, 3 months ago

    SOAR. FLIGHT COMES FROM PAIN.

    The motto of the international space protection agency. Of course. Flight comes from pain. Every third grader knows that. Through pain, purification, through purification, unity of mind, with unity of mind, emptiness, with emptiness, flight.

  • Benjie commented on the post, devastated 4 years, 3 months ago

    De-Vasted. Removed from the vastness. Cut off from the infinity, the great emptiness, the divine nothing-that-is-everything. Such cruel punishment, such sweet reward. Removed from the abyss, from the maw, from everything large and everything secret.

  • Benjie commented on the post, slate 4 years, 3 months ago

    state the state of the slate, the slab of earth, the cold and grey and dusty, feel it, you can taste what it tastes, I know you’ve put pebbles in your mouth and held them there before, their greyness drying your mouth, their grit, you know that

  • Benjie commented on the post, olive 4 years, 3 months ago

    “Olive”, she said, meaning it probably won’t kill her, and she threw her head back and you rolled your eyes and you fell in love deeper still, deeper into finding her jokes tacky and her hair messy but deeper into the dark, narrow places at the bottom of her well where the thing that is like you is inside of her.

  • Benjie commented on the post, wintertime 4 years, 4 months ago

    it’s not like it’s really all that bad i mean it’s nice you know like it’s just that it’s nice it’s what people mean when they say “Gee, that’s really nice” not nice like oh cool story bro but gee. That’s really nice. Just like that. that’s what i mean when it’s nice outside, it’s not spring i know that’s when we usually think it’s nice but i mean…[Read more]

  • Benjie commented on the post, takeoff 4 years, 5 months ago

    GO. TAKEOFF.

    bee-line for that moon baby

    take off your helmet

    take a deep breath of the cold vacuum

    let everything inside you become outside you

    that’s show bizz

  • Benjie commented on the post, visit 4 years, 5 months ago

    A visitation.

    Not a vision.

    I didn’t just see them.

    They were HERE.

    They visitationed me.

    I felt them. Smelt them. Their breath moved the air, I felt that. I heard them. I saw them, of course, but naturally I would have because they were here.

    I don’t know if they left dust behind, but they left something behind. A speck. I…[Read more]

  • Benjie commented on the post, denim 4 years, 6 months ago

    Deny the denim! Chinos! Slacks! Maybe a nice pair of black jeans sure okay whatever but blue jeans are out! Deny them, like you would deny the devil in your heart if her breasts weren’t so smooth, so milky…. But never mind that. Cast out all thoughts of younger days, of chasing girls and james dean. You are a Professional Adult Man. Deny.

  • Benjie commented on the post, witnessed 5 years, 1 month ago

    Witness to the falling, you saw it pull the earth imperceptibly closer to where it had once been, unfortunately, the earth pulled it much more perceptibly closer to where IT had once been. So it goes.

  • Benjie commented on the post, nonsense 5 years, 1 month ago

    More like mom-sense, she said, snickering, that mom laugh, people say it’s all about dad jokes, but you haven’t met this mom, she can knock any dad straight out of the park. The thing is, she’s not really a mom. Not yet. She tries not to let that get in her way, she’s cultivating mom-ness so she’s ready, ready damn it for her perfect baby to come…[Read more]

  • Benjie commented on the post, dissect 5 years, 2 months ago

    Dis repair dis tear, rip it a new one, find the centre, make it new, put it back together, pull a moreau and make a human from this bits of animal flesh, hair, instinct, sinew, ambition, and pride, pull them together and stitch, let pain be the teacher and the humaniser, let my pain make me

  • Benjie commented on the post, beware 6 years, 1 month ago

    bewarrrre
    beee warrrreee
    bee there!
    Oh no!
    A bee
    Of all the things to be scared of myrtle
    she said
    A bee!
    You do watch the news? You do read Stephen King? Aren’t there better things to be scared of?
    Yes,
    said Myrtle,
    But the bee is there
    And the news and Stephen King are out there,
    some where,
    and the bee is sharp.

  • Benjie commented on the post, reference 6 years, 3 months ago

    It was a late october evening, in the early hours of the evening. The reference Library. Toronto. 2012. I, 24, male, hooded sweatshirt looking at the score for Into The Woods. You, late 20s to early 30s, male, librarian, red glasses. We shared a look.

  • Benjie commented on the post, roof 6 years, 4 months ago

    I am lying in bed staring at the ceiling. It is fall, or late summer, and we are at your grandmother’s house in Red Deer, Alberta. Your father’s childhood room is in the attic, and that’s where we sleep. Your grandmother lets us sleep in the same bed. Your parents, my parents, wouldn’t even let us sleep alone in their own houses. Not once they found out.

  • Benjie commented on the post, received 6 years, 5 months ago

    receive this love. don’t thank me, don’t reciprocate, just receive it. I want to see you stand there and take it like a man. fearlessly. humbly. simply. just receive this love. take my love, acknowledge it, and let it flow into the parts of you worn down by time and frozen solid by hurt.

  • Benjie commented on the post, arts 6 years, 5 months ago

    like the arts, unknowable and untouchable, you are everywhere. You can be found in every civilization. Indeed, civilization is bound by you. You have left traces everywhere you have gone. I find etchings of you in subway tunnels, under desks, between the sides of a page in a book.

  • Benjie commented on the post, use 6 years, 5 months ago

    until use and old age accept it. Until no longer can I hold the pommel of a sword, and instead must settle for the end of a knitting needle. Until no longer can I count myself among the great, but rather through need and failings of the body I count myself among those the great protect.