• OH MY. PURPOSE. My keyboard froze and then went silent. Purpose. A Means, A way. A mission. A context. A container.

  • It was on a whim that I decided to go. I really wanted a quiet evening in, but I was glad she decided to invite me. I have meant to see her, hang out with her since her suicide attempt as I know she needs friends and hell, I could always use a few more. […]

  • Wake up, Wake up. Wake up.

    I feel restless just reading those words. Judged, less than. I am awake, I want to shout, but it is like in that gelatinous dream state when your mouth can’t move and the words get stuck in your throat. Leave me alone, you shout. Inside. Silent. Seething.

  • They want me to write of ragged again. Like raggedy ann, who doesn’t look ragged at all to me, she is far too neat and tidy, no dust or damage or drudgery in her pudgy red shoe feet. I believe she has red shoes, doesn’t she? Ragged has stuffing pouring out of the heel and […]

  • I need support. oftentimes more than I get. I try to be independent. I am, primarily independent but if I would be truly honest, that feminine form of mutual, collaborative interdependency is what really turns me on. Shared leadership rather than one-leader. Strengths leading the leadership and weaknesses being loved into being ok rather than […]

  • It would be obvious to many that I am miserable in this relationship, in that relationship and I am great or somewhat great in living the moment with my children. And what is the most important? Loving my kids or having a man who compliments me, you know, like a left hand compliments a right […]

  • It is metal. It is like the place in Northern California, Copperopolis. Near where I want to take Samuel, exploring Samuel Clemens. Conversations with Danvir. Showing up, performing. Being present to all we are, all we hope to be, where we are going. Discovery, exploration, a filled belly. Exercise. Love? Love. Love. I want to […]

  • Corn flakes Snow flakes dandruff flakes soap flakes Hope flakes floats moves people are flakes when they don’t show up flakes are small sheddings little bits and pieces jots and tittles flakes move dirt they are dirty aren’t they except for soap and snow I wonder what it is people think when they hear the […]

  • I’m thinking abaout retiring. Using up what’s left and spend time tracing ivy wih my eyes, leaving the to-do list behind and just settling into a garden chair, allowing the breeze to nestle in, behind my ears. Knowing sunrise will happen, sunset will happen, and life will happen whether I push this way or that […]

  • My reader will say to me, “Love you, Julie!” want to be near you, Julie – and now this crazy task bar is saying “Time’s up?” what sort of insanity is that? So I outsmart the site and set my timer on my phone. Reader, what do you want me to write about? Reader, what […]

  • Family feud. People, bickering. No solutions. Pain. Absence. Missed possibilities. Both sided, no faults just being. Attraction. Denial of attraction. Energy mangled and pushed. Uncomfortable. Missing. Empty. Hope? Lost. Vibrancy? Escaped. Lost, lost, lost. Fighting battles unwinnable. Mrs. Morrissey, yelling at next door neighbors. The first time…[Read more]

  • Stage: I love it. Theater. I love it. I was gone for it for so long yet now, I have been back again for seven years and I wonder if my time there is done, if this phase has served my destiny and I am meant to opt out? I am auditioning Saturday. It will […]

  • I remember when I had fangs. It was humiliating. I was embarrassed by how I looked, blushed when Katherine’s classmates snickered and elbowed. I don’t know how I survived it… my mantra. My love for me, even when I had fangs.

  • I don’t want to sail away from this, from here. Or do I?

    The “I don’t want to sail away” were the first words my fingers chose, without thinking. But I thought that was part of the point. Weird. I will continue to sit and write and think.

    I surprised me.

  • What have I missed by being lost to the questions as they arrived? What did I miss by not being willing to let myself sit with the question? Questions work so much more effectively when we become intimate with them, rather than rush through their nuances without noticing. Questions are like your best friend: they […]

  • I have a calling to teach. I have a calling to reach into the hearts of others and pull stuff out, to take stuff from my heart and offer it up without concern for pain or hording. I love to tell stories and hear stories and notice things that others leave unwitnessed. I love

  • I wish I knew each cousin more. I don’t know any of them, really, except for Darcy. I had hoped it would be different for my children, but if anything, it is worse. They have zero contact and this makes me sad. Can I change it? I suppose. It is a choice about energy. It […]

  • I am overjoyed at the reality of my program, And Now You Write and Mission Completion coming to life this morning. I feel like I am giving birth and THAT is overjoyment induction. It is a pleasant compliment to the “ohmigawsh, my child is leaving me” feeling with Kat’s flight leaving tomorrow. Simply silly, me. […]

  • Under. Up. Undulate. Apostrophe interjects… possession.
    Under neath each man’s basic skin tautly held is
    the need or desire to possess, to hold tight and
    not let go and I wonder, sometimes… how I got
    myself underneath that thumbprint in the first place. Under.

  • I stood my ground with the folks from Special Ed and Samuel has gotten, more or less, what he needed. They can’t provide the most appropriate for him because they don’t have it but the more I know them, the more I know we are primarily all humans doing what we need to do. I […]