• Jeff Goodman commented on the post, mixtape 3 years, 7 months ago

    There was duct tape
    scotch tape
    masking tape
    adding machine tape
    adhesive tape
    all in the drawer
    for daddy

  • I seemed to have gotten off in the wrong trench. I couldn’t even here the other squirrels chattering. I just kept going and going. And then it fluttered into my mind. I used to be in love with them, fellow corn nibblers, cuddly cousins. Hello! Hello out and over there!

  • The sardines bought sardines.
    Without thumbs, they had trouble opening the miniature cans
    so they got the tiny robots to do it for them.
    When the robots laughed, it sounded like the rattle and clank
    of roller coaster wheels going up up up.
    What will the future bring?

  • rainstorm? snack?
    chasm? snowfield?
    Siren? Telemachus?
    belly button? star?

  • Jeff Goodman commented on the post, flipped 6 years, 3 months ago

    He flipped his lid. The top of his head unbuckled and flipped up and we could see in there, a brain like children wrestling.

  • Jeff Goodman commented on the post, sons 6 years, 4 months ago

    The rat has nipples like other mammals. Her sons are called pups. Her truth flows in milk.

  • There are tiny people who live in the little holes in my telephone receiver, sitting in them like they are dry hot tubs. (I’m talking about the old style receiver you hardly see any more.) One group lives in the holes in the ear end, the other in the holes in the mouth end. They get cranky because it’s always dark when the phone is hung up. So,…[Read more]

  • The opened him up like a duffel bag and pulled out the small package from behind his liver. It was covered in white paper and tied with a blue ribbon.

  • Jeff Goodman commented on the post, fasting 6 years, 4 months ago

    Despite the little girl’s entreaties, the hedgehog wasn’t interested in eating her shoes, so he said he was fasting.

  • Jeff Goodman commented on the post, plaster 6 years, 4 months ago

    The last thing he did — in fact it killed him — was to drink plaster. I suppose he’s rotted away now, but the plaster shape of his gastrointestinal tract remains.

  • He ate mozzarella cheese on wafers. In his white pajamas. On a cloud. Was he dead? Yes, he was dead.

  • Jeff Goodman commented on the post, clasp 6 years, 7 months ago

    We tried so hard to hold on to the roast beef horseradish afternoon sun crusty bread lemon merengue pie memory even as the strong wind of time blew it from us, even as death touched us on the shoulders and pointed over the low hills.

  • The trees bent down so low, he thought they were going to tie his shoes for him. Then he realized they were giving him a present: a robot, made entirely of twigs, with a tiny wooden face and the cutest pair of bark underpants.

  • I am listening to the fog in myself.
    It sounds like two mice are about.
    They have dew in their whiskers
    and they are discussing the moss.
    One of them holds up a lichen umbrella
    and does a funny sad dance.

  • Jeff Goodman commented on the post, blasted 6 years, 9 months ago

    I drank all the rocket fuel,
    said the bunny to the hen.
    See you in the moon, I guess!
    See you up above Scranton!

  • Jeff Goodman commented on the post, signals 6 years, 9 months ago

    Mr. and Mrs. Dry Goods Salesmen were so successful that they had to put a traffic light in the underpants section of their flagship store.

  • Jeff Goodman commented on the post, flames 6 years, 9 months ago

    When no one was looking and the amusement park was closed, the roller coaster leaned over and bit the tunnel of love right on the cave rim.

  • It is so easy to startle an individual bean in a bowl of bean soup. What you do is drape yourself with a tomato or hide behind a piece of onion; and then, just as the spoon sweeps by, you jump out at an unsuspecting bean. It happens every day.

  • Jeff Goodman commented on the post, learn 6 years, 10 months ago

    The tree leaned into the wind, and the wind blew equations through the bark of the tree. Every number in heaven stained the clouds.

  • Jeff Goodman commented on the post, claims 6 years, 10 months ago

    “It’s a sinister bannister,” said the barrister to his sister.
    “It doesn’t qualify as a disaster” responded his sister. “But, it goes long way towards explaining why I’m a spinster, despite my being sincere and never having had scurvy.”