• Estevan commented on the post, earbuds 2 years, 2 months ago

    man i lost my frickin earbuds again i hope my cat didn’t eat them because if it did that would be the 43w848343t8934t3th pair of earbuds it’s eaten and the doctor said if it eats one more i’m gonna get a stress-induced heart attack and possibly die which is kinda worrisome!!! oh well. earbuds are bad for your ears anyway, last i heard they can…[Read more]

  • Estevan commented on the post, disposable 2 years, 7 months ago

    that’s a nice disposable chair you got there. did you buy it from your mom? oh snap. i gotcha. gotcha real good. i think clams are like tomatoes of the ocean. what do you think? will you marry me now? it’s okay if you don’t want to but you have to want to. no choice. anyway, pizza is a really good, ya feel? i like pepperoni mostly because it…[Read more]

  • Estevan commented on the post, ingredients 4 years, 10 months ago

    the basic ingredients to make a sentient pumpkin pie are simple. a regular pumpkin pie, and a high school year book from 1972. the reason why such an old year book is needed is unknown but they can easily be found on ebay or in your brother’s closet. an important thing to remember is that sentient pumpkin pies often will try and succeed to get you…[Read more]

  • Estevan commented on the post, tambourine 5 years, 1 month ago

    i shook the tambourine until it gave me answers.
    “talk!” i said.
    “no!” said the tambourine.
    “fine… then i guess… i’ll… microwave you”
    “that’s messed”
    “tell me something i don’t know”
    “you suck”
    “you misunderstand”

  • Estevan commented on the post, dysfunctional 7 years, 1 month ago

    They were always a dysfunctional family, probably because none of them were actually related. It wasn’t a family at all — it was a game show. The rules had it that the first person to eat waffles would be the […]

  • Estevan commented on the post, towers 7 years, 1 month ago

    My Lego creation towers over the living room like a powerful prism. It took me seven full days to make, without breaks. I think if I could have done it differently I would have taken some breaks. I am now very ill.

  • Estevan commented on the post, binding 7 years, 1 month ago

    i used some tape as binding. to bind it.

    -seems like it’ll do the trick.

    -not if it keeps falling off, heh.

    -…what? it’s–

    -six times. have you tried the new pizza in the cafeteria?

    -no.

    -it’s good.

  • Estevan commented on the post, miracle 7 years, 1 month ago

    It was a miracle that he ever got anything done. He had one arm, eighteen legs and a giant head. He actually looked more like an insect than a human when you think about it. That’s why I squished him.

  • Estevan commented on the post, texture 7 years, 1 month ago

    The texture of this bed is so dope. What is it?

    -I dunno. Cloth I guess.

    -I gotta get me some of this.

    -You want it? I got more covers in the closet.

    -Seriously?

    -Yeah. I think.

    -That should […]

  • Estevan commented on the post, salvation 7 years, 1 month ago

    salvation reminds me of saliva because it has a lot of the same letters. i think if i had a cousin with the same name as me we would get a lot of the same letters, but probably not because why would that make […]

  • Estevan commented on the post, side 7 years, 1 month ago

    Move along to the side then. No one’s telling you to stand right in the middle. See the city lights over there? Those are off, off from the center. Not in the middle. No one’s telling you to be there. Not when […]

  • Estevan commented on the post, approval 7 years, 2 months ago

    all he ever wanted was the approval of the snow. it was cold, it hurt him. he knew that nothing would change unless he could change the universe. so he tried. every night, in that same spot, he would touch an ice […]

  • Estevan commented on the post, statement 7 years, 2 months ago

    That was the last time I ever heard a statement of that nature. No one ever said “I like ducks” ever again. The problem of course was that people still liked ducks. A lot of people. I mean, I try to avoid them, […]

  • Estevan commented on the post, instructions 7 years, 3 months ago

    i look at all these instructions and i think, wow, that’s a lot of instructions. i wonder what i could do with these. it was a cold dark night in the middle of october when i realized that the ice on the roof was […]

  • Estevan commented on the post, sonar 7 years, 3 months ago

    That dog has sonar. If you think you can hide from it, you’re dead wrong. You see, it sees by hearing. It doesn’t matter if you’re completely silent – so long as sound can bounce off of you it can see you. Unless […]

  • Estevan commented on the post, decorations 7 years, 3 months ago

    I love Christmas decorations. So bright and colorful. They really distract from the caterpillar infestation that plights our house. Most people can’t even tell we have furniture that isn’t just caterpillars — I […]

  • Estevan commented on the post, turbine 7 years, 3 months ago

    The turbine was over 500 feet wide and 500 feet tall. When spun, some say it was so loud it could be heard from outer space. In fact, they were right. So we zapped it. Darn earthlings.

  • Estevan commented on the post, bucket 7 years, 3 months ago

    i lived in that bucket for 20 years, me and my worm friends. we shared an apartment – 2063, i believe. oh, the memories. i remember this one time we realized our apartment complex was just a bucket and we moved […]

  • Estevan commented on the post, detention 7 years, 3 months ago

    I got put in detention the other day. I don’t even remember why. All I know is that detention is a LOT cooler than they make it seem. I got frostbite.

  • Estevan commented on the post, science 7 years, 3 months ago

    i was the best science fair contestant in the history of the planet mars. i was also the best potato grower because that’s what my exhibit was – potato growing. i didn’t even make energy from it, but that’s […]