The urge to run automatically kicked her heart into racing gear. Bailey shifted her sights to the skyline. Looking above the building and into the orange of the rising sun. It had been so long since she had felt warmth. Down the hatch she went. Hair whipping around in the harsh winds. Sand stinging her skin as it raced through the city streets,…[Read more]
My mind clamps done on the hopes for later down the road. I dream of a house and a husband and a child. I dream of all these things. I hold down tight, but I’m loosing my grip. I can’t find the next stepping stone to the solid rock at the end. The house on the hill seems so far away. I’m not sure where to turn or step or go.
Sometimes I’m miserable.
Seeing you miserable made me hurt. Like a spear to the heart. I cried-for a moment. And then I was okay.
I miss your friendship. I miss your hugs. I miss your smell. I miss your sideways laugh. I miss your sarcastic laugh…and then the squeaky laugh that follows if I get you laughing hard enough.
But I don’t miss…[Read more]
Im no longer miserable.
I smile, I laugh, I go out at night.
I have friends over, sing the wrong words to the songs on the radio without judgement.
Never before have I felt so free and so cared for all at the same time.
You made me miserable.
Now, Im alive.
Stuck in this bubble. I look through the watery glass around me. I can hear laughter, I can see memories being made. I can participate in conversation, make logical decisions, even joke and laugh and dance and sing and live. Or what others think it living. I’m so tired. I walk around purposeless. Making money, spending money. Meeting people,…[Read more]
It glows defiantly in the distance. Dancing and shimmering. I stood in awe. Heard nothing, saw nothing else. Every sound, emotion, worry, memory-all of it gone as I became more and more entranced. All I knew was it was cold. That beautiful orb shone in the distance-and I was too far away to capture its glow.
I lost you.
Not just lost you,
I twisted you up into a tiny little ball and threw you as far into the sea as I could.
I hated the way you restrained me,
How you enraged me, took advantage and deranged me.
Drove me so crazy that I thought right was always wrong and I could never be right.
Could never do enough.
Drenched to my soul.
You pour your words over me like sweet honey.
Your hands trace rivulets down my thighs.
Never before have I felt so refreshed.
Every time I see you I blossom.
From dying desert flower to dancing dandelion
Making wishes in the wind.
You lured me in slowly.
Your stormy surface beguiling
your strong arms tightening
your laugh dark and quick
Your words like a whip
stirring beneath the surface of the storm
was a riptide
ripping away my breath
tying my hands
and laughing at my lack of breath
shooting arrows just for fun
When the night was over
Your witchcraft had won.
Im gonna break his heart.
I hugged you, smiled at you, held your hand and kissed your cheek. Slept next to you. Took you to all your favorite places, filled your house with little touches of me. How you turned the chair, where you hung art you hated butI insisted you needed on the walls, showing you how to make sense of a grown up pantry.…[Read more]
Hes a loner.
Nothing is as important as his own way of living.
Not a person.
Not a thing.
Not an idea.
None is worth the sacrifice of his black and white, predictable world.
I befriended the wolf.
And became the prey.
“The protein combines with a number of chemicals to produce this effect, see?” said the the professor as he stalked between doorframes. Running his hand through his salt and pepper hair he turned sharply on his toes and looked at me with desperation. “Don’t you see? This could either be the exact answer needed…or,” he lowered his shaking voice,…[Read more]
She steps in the room and it shifts.
The air grows warm, people relax, and laughter seems more comfortable.
Her smile woos and her eyes dance right through you.
She dances around and all eyes follow.
Light seems to stalk her, and beauty never leaves her side.
She talks and darkness is lifted, bitterness disappears…and I am entranced.…[Read more]
I need to escape… to breathe. The intake deeply of fresh air and fresh dreams. To breathe in the peacefulness of new and exhale the poison in my lungs. To release the bitterness and hatred and animosity that pollutes my brain. I need a one way ticket…to climb high above the clouds and be free from the expectations and the violence that…[Read more]
I banked on you.
I counted the stars in the sky, attaching my hopes and dreams to the names you pulled out of your galaxy of a mind. I banked on the hopes and dreams we built together. Going from ‘never’, to ‘maybes’, to ‘one day I might..’
In these things I placed all my fears, inadequacies, deeply-held secrets, and my most precious of infant…[Read more]
A look that could freeze hell, and words that melted through my hope. A snake in a hot desert; freezing my motions. From one extreme to the other I couldn’t keep up…
“It’s common sense, Em! It’s reality! Stop making stupid decisions!”
My creativity and brightly colored world shattering from the heated tone coming from his full lips. The…[Read more]
I feel it rising. The sun beats down on my soul and red creeps up my face. Tears steaming as they roll like rivers in a desert down my face. I wipe them away with the back of my hand, attempting to hide the weakness from him. I can’t help but feel the heat rising as my words grow more and more poisonous, rising from my tongue and lashing out like…[Read more]
“You’re too touchy.”
Too easily swayed or bumped or bruised.
Too used, abused and discarded.
So I break down at the sight of you disheartened.
I see your hope in us wavering. Your happiness depleted.
Trust me, there’s so many times that Ive thought about leavin’.
Leaving you so that you can be happy. You can find a girl who…[Read more]
“I miss the you with braces-the angel girl.” He says it over and over again, but it doesn’t change a thing. Fact is, he’s the one who encouraged my transformation, encouraged my behavior to go from gasping at curses to swearing like a sailor, from virgin lips to begging to drink at the slightest confrontation. He created this monster…but misses…[Read more]