• Aisling commented on the post, stale 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    I’m allowed to have moved on, right? There are so many hundreds of reasons not to go. But then there’s that one reason that I should.

  • Aisling commented on the post, survivor 3 months, 1 week ago

    She tells me that her name is Perle, and I immediately connect, feeling as though I remember the thousands of years it took for her to grow inside an oyster to become beautiful and hard and strong. You can tell she’s been around and knows a few things and I am a full and absorbent vessel.

  • Aisling commented on the post, lake 3 months, 1 week ago

    I almost booked that little cabin, right with its own little personal pool, an almost puddle in the rocks where we could have spent days splashing about together in the warmest summer since 1965. But he never called, and didn’t come ’til weeks later. I kept my mouth shut, as I always did.
    I loved him, you see.

  • Aisling commented on the post, seaside 3 months, 1 week ago

    I had an impossible habit of ending up at the coast. I’d get to feeling lost, like the expanse was far too wide, and yet claustrophobic too. An ungainly paradox that I never quite managed to figure out. And yet there I would find myself, as if resetting. Turning myself off and on again, like an ageing piece of technology you’re already resetting…[Read more]

  • Aisling commented on the post, invest 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    For the first time, I might be willing to write it down on paper. So long dignity. So long guilt and grief.

  • Aisling commented on the post, birth 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    I haven’t spoken to her in years, and yet I regularly find myself thinking about her. Even still. There was something very off about the way she moved through the world. Her name, which her mother chose, was an odd one in terms of her mother’s South Korean upbringing, because she could never pronounce her “L”‘s properly, and her name was filled…[Read more]

  • Aisling commented on the post, sway 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    I watched an interview with Paul Auster yesterday morning, while gulping down my porridge. Porridge, in an attempt to lose weight.
    I sometimes view authors in a way that I shouldn’t. I hear their voice in my head when I read, and then I see them in a video or an interview and I can’t help but feel like maybe I shouldn’t have allowed that to happen.

  • Aisling commented on the post, mustard 4 months ago

    That day, they had big eyes planted in the trees. Cartoon type, something that my friend said would be “something that she would love” and she was right. It took everything that I had to get there, and even more to stay but somehow that inflatable wedding chapel and those crazy eyes planted amongst the mustard flowers of the summer trees were…[Read more]

  • Aisling commented on the post, harness 4 months ago

    I can’t tell you how many times that bloody song rang through my head. Over and over, telling me that all that matters in the end is love. Well I’ll tell you what, there’s not a lot left to be done with or without love when you’re tying him up, cutting the plastic ties into his wrists and not even caring about his beautiful skin anymore. He made…[Read more]

  • Aisling commented on the post, classical 5 months, 1 week ago

    There is never a silence here anymore. Everything runs and purs and screeches and cracks and howls and I can’t turn it off. I’ve been listening to music to drown out everything else, but despite it being relaxing, I feel as though I’m running away from something. A dash. A headache. I’m scared to be alone anymore. Keep the noise coming but turn it…[Read more]

  • Aisling commented on the post, corners 6 months, 4 weeks ago

    I met him while he was working again and we both shook and babbled and probably didn’t act at all like we would have liked to. Later I bumped into him again, and we did much the same, but this time we walked together and I drew attention to the fact that I was babbling and being pretty terrible. He walked me to my car, we hugged and he almost…[Read more]

  • Aisling commented on the post, steer 7 months ago

    My dad took the cover off the wheel last week, only about two months after I’d asked. My hands are giving up now. Tomorrow it’s one year since I worked, and I’m so much worse than I could’ve imagined back then. They told me I’d never get better but the sun never realised. It rises and sets in the most cruel but beautiful way. Just like it doesn’t…[Read more]

  • Aisling commented on the post, motel 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    I don’t stay away from home very often. I sit home, when I can sit, and I mope and I cry a little. Or a lot, if we’re being completely honest.
    I don’t know where I’m going with this. My heart isn’t in it, and neither is my brain. Chronic pain. I have a heart but my body only beats along in painful ways.

  • Aisling commented on the post, ragged 8 years, 5 months ago

    I always wondered why they named him what they did. It didn’t seem to suit him after we gave him away, a flimsy little puppy all barrel shaped and incessantly annoying. I guess you don’t question a dying woman though, you go with things. It’s only ever in retrospect that we really understand. What a […]