• we are never scalpel sharp or lab coat strict, but we are scientific in our organic grit… the astronomy of your sunspot freckles, the supernovas under our eyelashes, my unrelenting inertia toward you and the homeostasis you have fostered in my blood, the safety we have created in this private biosphere…

  • caitlinmonster commented on the post, globe 4 years, 6 months ago

    tracing my fingers along the globe of your back, its spiny mountain ranges and the softness of the ocean between your shoulder blades – you have always been the whole world to me, mapped with little veins like roads pointing me home, steering my ship back to the center of you

  • Pressing books to my chest in a rented apartment, pressing impermanence against my skin and hoping this time something (at least) will stick. We are making a home out of a borrowed collection of walls, promising ourselves forever, or for a while.

  • wintertime like mint snowflakes crystallizing on my tongue, and all I am is the lack of you. this week I will find myself in the same places I held your mitten-fingers last year, and I will feel the wind sharper than I did then.

  • winter is time for sweeping
    here in Texas, where leaves fall
    but snow doesn’t. and we’re left sweeping
    old memories into tin cans
    and placing them on our bedside tables
    and saving them for spring again

    the cold fronts are sweeping in
    and we are collecting ourselves into dust pans
    I am emptying myself into the waste basket
    and trying to…[Read more]

  • I wanna tailgate you. I never really learned what tailgate meant, because I’m not into football. But it sounds like hanging on to the back of you, probably while you’re speeding forward and I’m along for the ride. And the view doesn’t suck, either. I just wanna grab hold of you and let you do your thing, and I’ll just let the breeze blow through…[Read more]

  • in pursuit of something less
    heart-rip or drenched and panting
    in pursuit of stopping, of breathing slow
    and waiting
    in pursuit of something more
    gentle or breeze-kissed
    in pursuit of stopping, of breathing slow
    in pursuit of waiting
    but all I keep doing is running
    and hoping for a break soon

  • caitlinmonster commented on the post, worn 4 years, 10 months ago

    worn like sweater-holes, like your thumbs
    pressing through my skin and me
    wrapping around your hands

    worn like foot soles, like miles
    of asphalt without flowers peeking
    through the cracks

    worn like forgetting you, and then
    it’s years later and I’ve worn so many other
    people’s sweaters, and I’m

    just worn out

  • She held the dress up against her body, meeting his eye in the mirror. “Well? What do you think?” she prompted.

    He grimaced slightly; her smile faltered.

    “You don’t like it,” she muttered. It wasn’t a question.

    “It’s beautiful,” he corrected her quickly. “I just don’t think it’s the one. It’s not hers. It’s not what we’re looking for.”

  • nobody filled up my skin the way you did
    with something empty but breathable
    so I felt like I could float
    (for the first time, really)
    until you left and left nothing inside me
    and my skin wrapped around me again, unceremonious
    and I was nobody like I was before you showed up

  • perching, I wish, on lofty wisps
    of cloud fluff, miles above
    this skin, this itch and scratch
    I wish I were bird-high and coasting
    or climbing, or anything
    away from here

  • Chelsea Leigh commented on the post, illogical 5 years ago

    “You know that what you’re doing is completely stupid, right?”

    “Yeah…but it’s fun.”

    “Okay, but it’s not going to be so fun when you accidentally kill yourself.”

    “Sure, fair enough — but I won’t know, because I’ll be dead.”

    “…you are truly insufferable.”

    “Thanks. So are we doing this, or what?”

    “Unfortunately. Let’s go then.”

  • caitlinmonster commented on the post, mispelled 5 years ago

    everyone misspells my name
    but no one did it better than you, back then
    shuffling letters in any order, arbitrarily
    changing them day by day
    however looked prettiest

    I guess you thought what I was given at birth
    wasn’t enough, didn’t suit you
    so you tried to rearrange me
    to look more like
    whatever you wanted
    me to look like

  • “You started this whole thing. You know that, right?”

    The words seemed to offend him, even though they were true. He swallowed thickly and turned to face me.

    “You don’t think I was alone in instigating this, do you?” His response took me by surprise. “There were several of us — eight, to be exact. We know exactly what we’re doing…and why…[Read more]

  • She didn’t know what she was looking for, just that she would die if she failed to find it. Elisavet had warned her of the repercussions of a failed mission, and she replayed her ominous words over and over in her mind: “If you don’t find it, they will find you.”

    They could have offered her a bit more guidance. Now she was stuck, fighting for…[Read more]

  • is it possible that we have forgotten everything
    that in loving you i have shrugged off my own skin
    my own scars and bruises, and
    you have stepped out of your old clothes
    is it possible that we have written our tomorrows today
    and my possible is now possible with you

  • caitlinmonster changed their profile picture 5 years, 3 months ago

  • it would have been easier sterile
    cleaner tools and bright blades cutting
    it out of me, that black mud
    that hate, that cry
    that tearing apart of us would have been
    easier if we had made it sterile

  • The rocker pushed and pulled as I breathed thick summer air and sipped hot lemonade. This was Texas at its best, wrapped in a screen porch and sweating, happy to scramble under the southern sun like an egg in a pan. Homemade ice cream waited behind the freezer door. Our horses tore grass from the field. This is what we bargained for. We came out…[Read more]