• Carolynn commented on the post, staple 7 years, 7 months ago

    It was the staple to put it all together. I’m not even sure how that works out, but it most definitely stabbed into my chest a little. There it was, the dirty little detail that wrapped every worst memory and […]

  • Carolynn commented on the post, dessert 7 years, 9 months ago

    It was the dessert to top off a horrific meal. The kind that makes your stomach hurt just thinking about it. He was a dreadfully burned one-course meal with a chaser of rotten fruit pie. I wallowed in the absolute pain of the taste in my mouth, almost even savored it. Not because I had […]

  • Carolynn commented on the post, dull 7 years, 12 months ago

    It was dull. Dull, dull, dull, she echoed through her head as she sat against the hard brick that scraped her bare back. Her fancy dress was ruined, obviously, and its low back wasn’t doing her any favors now in the chill and rough texture of the wall behind her. Sigh. Fuck life.

  • Carolynn commented on the post, mystery 8 years ago

    It’s a mystery that anyone ever cared about me. I was broken, stupid, something that shopkeepers would hide in the back so no one would want to buy me until I was placed on clearance, 90% off. Even then, I would be bought by someone who thought they could pull me to pieces and only […]

  • Carolynn commented on the post, existence 8 years, 1 month ago

    I once pondered the meaning of existence. Whether it was worth it to keep on trying, why the rains always fell and people continued to starve. Who determines who falls in love and who misses the chance. Whether love is worth it at all. Why everyone will always feel inadequate. And then I realized it […]

  • Carolynn commented on the post, umbrella 8 years, 1 month ago

    It was the cutest umbrella, and it made my heart ache. A tiny thing, she wore ladybug galoshes and a hot pink raincoat, guarding herself from the downpour with a miniature transparent umbrella. It was in that moment that I first noticed the absence present in my life, the fact that I was here, no […]

  • Carolynn commented on the post, punishment 8 years, 2 months ago

    It was punishment, and I had a feeling she knew it. She simply held her gaze on mine, steely blue and scarier in it’s grip than ever before. I could only sit and squirm, not weak enough to break the trance but not strong enough to call her out. I couldn’t help but feel like […]

  • Carolynn commented on the post, answers 8 years, 2 months ago

    There are never the answers you’re looking for, only many more questions. I like to pretend that these questions are extravagant, poignant, the sort of thing that is philosophical and makes you stumble upon those solutions. But more often than not, they become a maze, and I find myself stumbling over my own feet, looking […]

  • Carolynn commented on the post, brick 8 years, 2 months ago

    It hit me like a brick, like a load of concrete on my chest. I even huffed a slight oof, so taken aback was I by the pain brought by shock. I couldn’t believe it, and I didn’t know that I ever would be able to. It was a weight on my soul, a catch […]

  • Carolynn commented on the post, canvas 8 years, 2 months ago

    It was a blank canvas, and it ripped through my soul, like I was the canvas and it was a razor blade. I stared and stared until my eyes tingled with dry pain, but still there was nothing that I felt was worthy of its pure surface. Perhaps that’s what I am, empty, alone, waiting […]

  • Carolynn commented on the post, antlers 8 years, 3 months ago

    I always hated his stupid buck head on the wall. I hated a lot of things, I realized as I sat on the couch, eating ice cream and crying my eyes out. I hated that stupid crooked smile of his, I hated his red felt-covered pool table, and I hated his absolutely perfect body. I […]

  • Carolynn commented on the post, history 8 years, 3 months ago

    We had a history, the kind worthy of tears. Every time I saw him and those smoky blue eyes, that’s exactly what I felt like doing. The water touched my eyelashes, and it took all my strength to not let them free. I wished he could tell, that I could let myself cry and maybe […]

  • Carolynn commented on the post, intense 8 years, 3 months ago

    It was an intense sort of feeling, and not one I’m proud of. Afterwards, sweaty and exhausted as I laid in his bed, I realized how very wrong I was to think this was right. What sort of joy is there in passion when it’s propped up by cardboard and bound to cave in at […]

  • Carolynn commented on the post, cells 8 years, 3 months ago

    The very cells of my being shivered with dread. I dragged my feet, feeling the static crawl up my legs and through my bones as if it was an army of insects. It was here that everything terrible in my life began. Everything dreadful, everything fearful, everything that brought me to my knees in pain […]

  • Carolynn commented on the post, held 8 years, 3 months ago

    He held me close, and for the first time in my memory, I let the tears flow. I didn’t know where they came from or even why I wept with such great depth, but they were profound tears. He was a stranger, handsome and somehow friendly, and I knew he didn’t deserve the burden of […]

  • Carolynn commented on the post, wonder 8 years, 4 months ago

    I wonder what he thinks, when he has that look in his eye. Everytime he looks down at me, I try to understand his cloudy brown gaze. It sort of breaks my heart, and I get the gut feeling that it should. Since when do people like us make it in love? He’s perfect, unspoiled […]

  • Carolynn commented on the post, smile 8 years, 4 months ago

    It was the kind of smile you remember, like your favorite cereal bowl as a child or which birthday present was the most fun. His smile was the kind that broke your heart, because you knew that it was a lie. Whenever we locked eyes, I saw it appear, but I knew it was to […]

  • Carolynn commented on the post, station 8 years, 4 months ago

    Train station, life station. It is here that I am to say goodbye. Forever. An eternal goodbye to my life here, and my love here. His eyes were gloomy and clouded over with the worst sort of tears. I didn’t know what to say, there really wasn’t anything at all to say. I knew I […]

  • Carolynn commented on the post, beloved 8 years, 4 months ago

    Beloved by all, she thought bitterly. That’s the sort of idea you’re supposed to give them as a princess. She wore all the fanciest gowns from the most renowned seamstresses, she was on top of every social chain, and still she was angry and alone. No one really cared. They cared about her tiara, sure, […]

  • Carolynn commented on the post, funeral 8 years, 4 months ago

    A funeral of the soul, I decided I would title it (at least in my brain). It was ceremonial, sort of, watching the memories turn from vibrant images to a pile of blackened remains. They danced through the flames, ascended from the paper into the sky and out of my heart. I would never again […]