• leah commented on the post, survivor 11 months, 2 weeks ago

    I haven’t seen you in a long time, but I know you’ll surface soon. When I need you most, you’ll come. You’ll torture and break and tear. You’ll save the essence that makes up my life. And I want that.

  • cosmic commented on the post, scan 1 year, 1 month ago

    I scanned the words
    of one of my last posts.

    It was about my sister.

    I forgot how i used to think about her
    with rage red and hot

    now my feelings towards her have cooled
    and hardened a bit

    i no longer fear her

    I pity her and love her,
    at a far, far distance,

    where her words and actions lose their sting.

  • Nightawait commented on the post, relate 2 years, 5 months ago

    She was the wall beside me,
    around me,
    everywhere I took myself to.
    She became the pavement
    my tears fell onto,
    she was the drops of the fountain
    that sprayed me.
    She was and she
    became everyone I talked to.
    Soon, she was no more, but all I saw.

  • Nightawait commented on the post, laughing 2 years, 10 months ago

    The ones that make your stomach hurt. It reaches your eyes and mine. It’s dizzying how good it feels. You make ma forget everything whole. For a moment, we are whole. It comes in equal waves, these moments to match the bad. They are everywhere. Sometimes I lose sight of them, so you take my hand and guide me here. But I can’t find you these days.…[Read more]

  • Nightawait changed their profile picture 2 years, 10 months ago

  • Today, my heart had wings for two seconds, and I had the faint feeling of may-be-we-could-be, this hopeful yet absolutely hopeless hope. I thought for 2 seconds about him. But I know I am the dull craters while he is the moon. I am nothing in comparison. And my heart became still again.

  • invinculis commented on the post, ballot 2 years, 11 months ago

    life is messy and i don’t enjoy it. every day,
    another wine glass. french names too shy to
    leave my tongue until forced. meanwhile,
    i am 22 and washing behind the ears seems more
    and more a cultivated lifestyle.

    you, who still vacuum under the bed, consider the way
    the days swell and fatten under the spring sun.

  • invinculis commented on the post, misled 2 years, 12 months ago

    in the dream i am walking through the field by our childhood
    home where corn used to grow some summers
    ago. wondering as i go, fingers just
    grazing the uncultivated grass–if wildflowers
    have found their way here, if the dirt knows it can make
    something of the dead, if the dead know the field does not
    know want even as it wants. in the d…[Read more]

  • invinculis commented on the post, pawn 3 years ago

    leaving girlhood is not yet knowing to look back
    taught the bite of desire,
    someone’s blunt teeth, gnawing, and the pain is
    newness, you think this is love
    a ring of bruises around the neck, you think
    the wet heat of your childish name
    what stays, is molded

  • Nightawait‘s profile was updated 3 years, 1 month ago

  • Nightawait commented on the post, stare 3 years, 1 month ago

    I look on,
    ahead.
    There’s no gazing here.
    No dreamy eyes or rueful wishing.
    Everything is still.
    Not glazed over or
    romantic in any way.
    They look at me funny as I stand there,
    pretend dreaming,
    walking past me
    my past before me
    and behind me
    tearing into me
    keeping me still and
    staring.

  • Lancir‘s profile was updated 3 years, 4 months ago

  • Lancir commented on the post, thieves 3 years, 4 months ago

    You know, like that one time when you ran off to Columbia and took every reminder of who you were, with you? You know, like that time when you drove away into the ether, and the only thing remaining behind was a pair of hula hoops, duct taped together with pretty little patterns. You know, like that time when we were together at five-thirty in the…[Read more]

  • Lancir commented on the post, institute 3 years, 4 months ago

    God.
    I can’t remember the last time I looked out from between the walls. An asylum – this mental institution, this place where white is a reminder that we’re bruised up inside. You know, you think the walls have eyes? It’s just the way the light reflects, really.
    You’re seeing things again, just like me, darling.

  • Lancir commented on the post, fractured 3 years, 4 months ago

    This is my love poem to no one,
    a fractured
    piece of fantasy
    wherein I claim that you’re not actually real
    this reality
    you pretend to be
    is just compromised immunity
    my fragmented
    augmented
    segmented
    place to be
    where I can exist free from expectations
    or regulations
    when I can just be me –
    but you keep on intruding
    my lovely.

  • Lancir commented on the post, jail 3 years, 4 months ago

    I’m afraid for you, sometimes. I think a little longer than I should, and I remember the way you looked the first time you told me about having been to jail.
    The fact that you were scared to death of going back.
    That you didn’t think orange was your color, and how even having been there, just briefly, it changed you. A black spot on an…[Read more]

  • Lancir commented on the post, slideshow 3 years, 4 months ago

    Little bits and pieces of your face flow by in my mental slideshow. I’m caught up in the way you look, the way I remember you looking and the way you might look in the future.
    I’m spending time with your past-present-future selves all at once in this letter I’m writing to you and wondering how your slideshow face will look as you read it.…[Read more]

  • Lancir commented on the post, worth 3 years, 4 months ago

    Baby, I’m worth it –
    But the real question is if you are.
    Because I remember this time – not so long ago – when maybe you weren’t. You weren’t worth the night of revelry, the crazy self-hatred that came along with a moment (or ten) of weakness.
    But now…
    Call me crazy as I sit up at night and wonder.
    Hey, baby.
    Were you worth it?
    I…[Read more]

  • Lancir commented on the post, misunderstood 3 years, 4 months ago

    Oh, a class act.
    You’re not the kind of person who could walk through the doors and be known all at once, are you?
    You’re like me.
    You see, we’re the kind of people who walk around in black with dark shadows under our eyes because we know things others don’t get, yet.
    They’ll understand in time, but until then, we’ll categorize our angsty…[Read more]

  • Victoria‘s profile was updated 3 years, 7 months ago