I close my eyes, and in the dark, all I see is everything.
Behind closed eyes, I see my hopes and my dreams, so close, just in reach. I stretch out my arm, only to have them be chased away by my fears and worries.
They rush behind closed doors, labeled things like, “Just around the corner”, “A bit too hard”, “Not gonna happen”, and “Don’t get your hopes up”. I wonder what it’s like beyond those doors. I wonder if it’s beautiful, and sunny.
I wonder if there are people behind those doors. And if there are, are they waiting to welcome me? Or to ridicule me?
Even so, how would I ever get through to find out. I come close, and when I’m about to reach out and turn the knob, I see a lock.
A simple lock, really. Nothing fancy. But it requires a key.
I think about trying to pick the lock, but that would be too easy, and it’d be cheating.
I sigh, and wonder if I’ll ever find the key to….to what? Dare I say to happiness? I don’t- I won’t- I can’t. I don’t know what’s behind the door, so I won’t say that it’s happiness, because I can’t be sure.
But my heart aches to find out.
And it will continue to ache, for as long as I let my fears bind me, I’m as helpless as a frog in quicksand.
I open my eyes to world that is no better than that which I just left behind.
So many choice, so many opportunities.
So many, so many, quickly slipping through the cracks between my fingers.