• Wouldn’t it be nice if I could be more, do more?
    Looking on from the outside in, I see the potential
    But I am inside out, looking at the big world
    With all of its offerings…
    With all of its advice…
    With all of its challenges…
    and I think I don’t belong there
    and I think it isn’t fair
    That I should be fighting for my identity
    and…[Read more]

  • Why couldn’t she just say no? What about that word is so difficult? Body language clearly doesn’t get her point across. She doesn’t owe you an explanation, but she still wants to tell you that it has been a very long time since someone has touched her. Her brain is screaming at her, screaming at her heart. Problems. Reasons why she can’t and…[Read more]

  • She has been gone for almost 17 years now. I search pictures, people’s recollections, and my own memories for resemblances. I can’t see them like others can. I want to. I want to see her in myself… But really, I just want to see her.

  • I’m not your sweet girl. I’m not your naughty girl. I’m not your toy.
    I’m not your old lady. I’m not your new gal. I’m not your honey.
    I saw your friend. He said you were making time with the girl next door.
    I’m not your main squeeze. I’m not your baby. I’m nothing to you.

  • She waited in the lobby for the car to arrive, stopping just short of the curb. It was dark now. She stepped out onto the wet pavement and searched left, then right. Glistening lights and deep puddles. Glass breaking in the distance. A siren. No sight of the promise she had been so hesitant to welcome just hours before. Why then, standing in the…[Read more]

  • under that tree commented on the post, real 7 years ago

    To know what is real and true for me, for my life, for my thoughts, actions, and plans… To know what is real and true for my world, for my heart, for my soul. To know what is real and true… is to feel what is real and true. It is not a knowing like any other. This knowing, this awareness, is always certain. Do not be fooled by your brain. It…[Read more]

  • under that tree commented on the post, sweep 7 years ago

    The violent sweep of yesterday’s phrases could never negate the act of speaking them. No amount of apology or kind words could undo that gaze, the locking of eyes as you fouled the very trust your love was built upon. She will forgive but, no, she will never forget.

  • Flesh on flesh. Vague promises of home. I will ache for you in the morning still. Your bones are hollow like your words, so weak. I built these walls because of you. I tore them down for you the same. Curtains […]

  • He would adopt any opinion that made him seem more radical. I couldnt help but feel sorry for him, even though this was a conscious decision on his part. I simply inquired one day as to his lack of identity, and […]

  • Against the odds? I like a good challenge. Yes, that one seems fittng. Yet im somehow at odds with it.
    Ratios and algorithms… Mathematical blah blah jargon.
    Hmmmm. Evens? Yes! Thats it! That one will do just fine.
    What are the odds?
    I am so odd.

  • Hoop it up! My Dad says. Adorable when he says it too. The excitement in his eyes, twinkling. The corners of his smile, creasing. Looking, pausing. Eyebrow raising. Then tilting his head sideways. Bending forward, slightly. Claps his hands, once.
    Times like this will live with me, always.

  • under that tree commented on the post, hinge 8 years ago

    She never oiled it. It was a loud welcome home siren, which gave her just enough time to shove him out the bedroom window and put on her good wife clothes.

  • under that tree commented on the post, runway 8 years ago

    Ohio. Who decided it was a good idea to put a rocky hill at the end of a runway? Whoever it was changed my life forever, and cost my mother hers.

  • under that tree commented on the post, lilies 8 years ago

    When she was young she would stop and smell the flowers. How beautifully fragrant each them was. So unique. A reason to linger. But then her world was turned upside down. Then it was shook violently. Then it was kicked around like a ball. Then loving hands picked it up, brushed off the dirt and […]

  • under that tree commented on the post, estate 8 years ago

    All the pretty things she held so dearly in life were now up for sale. Greedy fingers snatching her teapots. Sweaty palms fondling her jewelry. They were just things. Pretty little trinkets. Souvenirs. Collectors of dust. No real value, other than what she bestowed upon them. Sentimentality. To her they were memories, to which she […]

  • under that tree commented on the post, deaf 8 years, 1 month ago

    “Im sorry”, I said.
    “Im sorry!”, I yelled, I cried. “I dont know what you want me to do. What do you want me to do?”
    The words were lifted from my tongue with a heavy breath, and fell softly on deaf ears.

  • under that tree commented on the post, dusk 8 years, 1 month ago

    It all seems so different after that. The final peek from under the cover of light is so unique. Those final moments that you seek when moving toward unfailing darkness with an ever clenching hand on the corner of the day.

  • Castle. Mom is in it. She’s the princess looking out the window, the day I wore my beautiful dress.

  • She was still so pretty, but now cold and hard. I loved her better when she was made of flesh and bone, when she still had warmth. I guess she found herself afterall, when she looked in the mirror.

  • Black patent mini skirt.
    It made her feel alive. Like the beautiful person she was, and not the nothing he had her believing she was for so long. She put it on and saw herself for the first time in years. A new chapter for an old soul.