• nodochinko commented on the post, eyeliner 1 year, 11 months ago

    My eyes used to be coated inside of a dollar store with a fluorescent light highlighting my…hopes that it would work like American football, painted for the war or away from the sun, forgetting English, trying to get back home, forgetting to use commas when appropriate, drawing a comma coming out of the corners of my eyes, obsessing over whether…[Read more]

  • nodochinko commented on the post, spiral 5 years, 2 months ago

    A cake in the shape of a spiral was on the table. “That cake is a spiral cake,” I said. Then, I tripped on a banana peel and my face ended up crashing into the cake. I tasted it and noticed that the chocolate was very high quality.

  • Oh, the faux-progressives, I hate them more than the khaki-kids. The khaki-kids, remember them? The boys, mainly members of the chess club, who would wander the halls in matching khaki trousers. They thought they were too brainy for the rest of us. (They were mistaken) Many pens were stored in their pockets. All they did was carry their pens and…[Read more]

  • nodochinko commented on the post, dissect 5 years, 2 months ago

    My favorite dissection was when I dissected a flower. There’s no blood, no other strange fluids. The insides of a flower are pristine.

  • nodochinko commented on the post, disco 5 years, 3 months ago

    A disco ball fell on me. And it wasn’t pretty.

  • nodochinko commented on the post, counted 5 years, 3 months ago

    “Did it count?” “Did I count?” “Did any man count” “No, no man ever counted.” “Do we count?” “Do the janitors count?” “Did anything I ever did count?” “I don’t think anything I ever did ever counted” “Did I ever count everything that ever counted?”

  • nodochinko commented on the post, orders 5 years, 3 months ago

    Doctor’s orders: Yuri drowned in a neon blue tank that was over 18 feet tall, filled to the top. “She must breath it into her lungs!” Yuri practically wanted to die. She was .03 centimeters away from giving up but she kicked and kicked and kept on kicking. Doctor told her to keep going. Sooyoung crashed through the window with a gun in hand. Glass…[Read more]

  • nodochinko commented on the post, bourbon 5 years, 3 months ago

    These days, people are putting bourbon into everything. I swear to god if someone tries to offer me bourbon ice cream one more time, I’m going to throw something at their face.

  • nodochinko commented on the post, colonel 5 years, 4 months ago

    “Your shadow looks like the colonel, colonel Sanders” “acdaa///ACK, stubbed my toe” “I wish I could cuss right now” “Can’t express myself enough without the S word” “Don’t wear two bras at once, I don’t care how much that sweater makes you look flatchested, I did that once and bruised my ribs” “My ribs” “It’s on repeat” “I’m a walking show” “I’m a…[Read more]

  • nodochinko commented on the post, plumes 5 years, 4 months ago

    “Pass me the plumes, oh…I mean, prunes.” “Yes, yes, oh I love my bowl of prunes. Here, have some.” “My god” “What?” “The bath, someone poured a bunch of sugar into it” “Oh dear” “Oh what sabotage!” “That is dreadful” “Yes, yes I might get a yeast infection. You’re not supposed to coat your privates in sugar, you know”

  • nodochinko commented on the post, trumpets 5 years, 4 months ago

    Trumpets were played as I tried to sleep.

  • nodochinko commented on the post, stencil 5 years, 4 months ago

    I received a package, left on my doorstep…and I opened it…it was a stencil of a face….but I couldn’t quite make out who it was…I decided to try it out…and I found it was of my face. A very detailed stencil of my face. It freaked me out, basically. So, I threw it all away- both the stencil and the drawing it had produced. Another day, I…[Read more]

  • nodochinko commented on the post, selling 5 years, 4 months ago

    Always planned to sell an empty glass jar on Ebay. I was gonna tell everyone I had trapped a demon inside of it. I was gonna make up some real fancy story about the thing, and hope bids would reach thousands. Years later…it’s a long story but…I drew something that ended up possessed. A real cursed drawing…I still have it, locked away and…[Read more]

  • nodochinko commented on the post, defended 5 years, 5 months ago

    “How dare you defend the homophobic salvation army of anti-gay!” yelled the bearded man on the bus to the old man with the red kettle full of coins. Everyone stared. Man with the coins just grunted a little and mumbled something I couldn’t hear. When the bus reached its next stop, another man got onto the bus and he ran over and shot me in the…[Read more]

  • “There’s a party over at the graveyard…they’ve got clowns running around over there…some people are chipping away at headstones for souvenirs…they’ve dug up some bodies…and they’re going to play some version of ‘pin the tail on the donkey’ but more like ‘pin the bodyparts on the corpse’ or something like that.”

  • In an attempt to ignore how horny I was at the time, I spent my free hours building a sandcastle. In the end, because I never ever EVER found anyone who wanted to engage in sexual activity with me to pull me away from my obsessive sandcastle building, the sandcastle was super incredibly amazingly agonizingly annoyingly detailed. People called it…[Read more]

  • nodochinko commented on the post, disciple 5 years, 5 months ago

    I want to have ringlets like Mary Pickford’s, the girl with the curls.

  • nodochinko commented on the post, hero 5 years, 5 months ago

    My hero – her – I can speak of…never. “Who sent you this?” my mother asked and I told her, “An old friend…” and that’s all I could tell. It’s difficult to lie. I like to avoid it…so I avoid mentioning her. It’s difficult to be the only one in my life who knows of her greatness.

  • nodochinko commented on the post, compound 5 years, 5 months ago

    I breathed in dust and it did not go well. I found myself wrapped in rough white sheets, scraping at my skin. My lungs were red balloons. With water falling from her face. she said, “Thank you so much for letting him go.”

  • nodochinko commented on the post, incubator 5 years, 5 months ago

    it’s like a jungle, fighting in the jungle, i can’t see because someone shot out my eyes, and there are bugs crawling on me, i feel smaller, so much smaller, i can’t speak, help, i see only red. just red.