• Ayesha_A commented on the post, viewpoint 4 years, 7 months ago

    there wasn’t anything i could say that would change her viewpoint. i could tell. her jaw was set. her eyes cast down on the floor. it was as if she had closed off from the world and was existing completely in and of herself. i didn’t know what to say. i wasn’t the best person to talk to her about it either. An uncomfortable silence enveloped us as…[Read more]

  • Ayesha_A commented on the post, bicycle 4 years, 7 months ago

    I like to ride my bicycle, I like to ride my bike! I like to ride my bicycle, I like to ride my biiiiiiike! I like to ride my biiiiiiike! I like to ride my biiiiiiiiiike! BI-cycle! BI-cycle! BI-cycle.

    God, we miss you, Freddie! I hope you are lighting up the stars and universe with your amazing voice and sparkling personality!

  • Ayesha_A commented on the post, visit 4 years, 8 months ago

    The visit was lovely – I hadn’t seen her in weeks and for a change, our conversation wasn’t entangled in comparisons and conflict. It was a genuine meeting of hearts and spirits and we took comfort and happiness in each other’s stories and successes. I was grateful; perhaps we had finally turned a corner.

  • Ayesha_A commented on the post, curtains 4 years, 8 months ago

    It was curtains for Michael. He knew it – there was no denying it. He felt all the colour fall away from his face, petals of white flesh drifting to the floor. As he watched Alice get out of the limo, ensconced in layers of white, he knew she was floating out of his life forever.

  • Ayesha_A commented on the post, denim 4 years, 8 months ago

    I loved that leather jacket on him – the black sleekness accented the soft blue of his body-hugging denim jeans. He was a vision of modern-day man – hip, hot and manly. If only he could sing; he would’ve put Bon Jovi to shame.

  • Ayesha_A commented on the post, falter 4 years, 8 months ago

    I can’t falter on this journey. I’ve come way too far to drop the ball – again. This is the ultimate test of my resolve and of my commitment to getting things done. I will do everything in my power to make it happen – I will make it happen. And when I do, then there’s only way to go from there – UP. Higher and higher. I can do this.

  • Ayesha_A commented on the post, greedy 4 years, 8 months ago

    He was a greedy bastard. In all my years of working with him, I had never seen him given even a living wage to anyone who worked for him – not me, not the nanny or the gardener. It was the sadness of the children that kept us with him – the desire to nourish their hearts with something that he was too self-absorbed to provide.

  • Ayesha_A commented on the post, amused 4 years, 8 months ago

    I was amused by his ramblings. In all the years I had known him, he always seemed to have a story for any occasion – didn’t matter how complex or how obscure. A character for all seasons, I liked to call him. But more than that, it was that his stories were meant to support and encourage. They were delivered with kindness and good humour. This is…[Read more]

  • Ayesha_A commented on the post, locket 4 years, 8 months ago

    I saw the locket around her neck and drew my breath in sharply. She didn’t notice – flipping through her texts on her iPhone, she looked so much like her mother, it was uncanny. I fought hard against the growing rock in my throat – I could never have imagined the impish 5-year-old who sang Britney and shimmied around our old apartment would be the…[Read more]

  • Ayesha_A commented on the post, gesture 4 years, 8 months ago

    It was one of the kindest gestures I could have imagined. As I looked into his eyes, I saw more than I had before. A warmth and caring that had escaped my notice. I was surprised and humbled and suddenly unsure of our standing as colleagues just blossoming into friends.

  • Ayesha_A commented on the post, pity 4 years, 8 months ago

    I pitied him in that moment. Broken and sobbing on the floor – he looked like he had shattered into a million pieces and would never be whole again. I didn’t even think he was crying tears…he was crying his lifeblood out…red rivers down his face…it was something I had never known. Something I hoped I would never know.

  • Ayesha_A commented on the post, thrown 4 years, 8 months ago

    I opened up the screen to write and immediately, I was thrown. This was the same word as yesterday. What happened? Was the server down? Did the system stop working? Is there some kind of “groundhog day” glitch in the universe? It all seems so crazy.

  • Ayesha_A commented on the post, thrown 4 years, 8 months ago

    I was thrown. Floored. Angry. Upset. How could he have said that to me? Accusing me of stealing his ideas, his work and all the while, he used me to do all those things that he couldn’t do for himself…or said he couldn’t do for himself. Make his lunch. Do his laundry. Pick up 15 bottles of hand sanitizer. When I signed up for internship, I was…[Read more]

  • Ayesha_A commented on the post, thrown 4 years, 8 months ago

    He tumbled over the railing, a burst of arms and limbs wildly thrashing about as he was thrown into the sea. Submersion was a shock to the system; it was as if he could feel each drop of water seeping through the layers of his garments until they licked his skin with icy wetness – a terrifying sensation that seemed to happen both in slow motion…[Read more]

  • Ayesha_A commented on the post, doubt 4 years, 8 months ago

    there were a lot of doubts in my mind as I headed off to start again – would things work out? would people be able to come together? would resolution be achieved? i tried to remind myself that thinking negatively would only hasten the conclusion to its worst possible outcome, but when you are filled with anxiety, it is hard to be positive and find…[Read more]

  • Ayesha_A commented on the post, flattened 4 years, 8 months ago

    When I went into work the next morning, I was flattened. There were papers littered around my room, all over the desk, all over the floor – my drawers were turned inside out and my things were strewn everywhere. Outside, the office was bustling as usual, but I could see from the corner of my eye that people were looking in sideways – deadly…[Read more]

  • Ayesha_A commented on the post, underdog 4 years, 8 months ago

    He was always the underdog and silently, she championed him – all through kindergarten when he would sit in a corner trying to take apart the old rotary phone or make impossible structures with the big fake lego pieces in the communal toybox. In grade school, when he asked questions that no one else would think of like “Do clouds die? Where do…[Read more]

  • Ayesha_A commented on the post, footsteps 4 years, 8 months ago

    she took her footsteps fast and furious down the stairway, flying down as if she was parasailing. there was no stopping her as she approached the landing and continued to rush through the hallway into the kitchen. the noises had stopped now and she slowed down as she came around the kitchen to a complete stop. A few inches away from the stove on…[Read more]

  • Ayesha_A commented on the post, failing 4 years, 8 months ago

    I don’t actually believe in failing. I think that there things that happen – despite our best intentions – and have outcomes that we may not expect, like or accept. That’s all. Part of our journey, part of our struggles…part of life. No such thing as failure. Just another step.

  • Ayesha_A commented on the post, stood 4 years, 8 months ago

    When the word stood alone it was proud and resilient – withstanding difficulties, standing the test of time and standing up for itself. When interacting with others, it soothed and understood – stood for peace and reconciliation and stood beside its comrades in solidarity. There is nothing to be misunderstood – it is a complex word that stands…[Read more]