Comments Posted By j

Displaying 271 To 300 Of 689 Comments

obvious

but goes by unnoticed every time.

» Posted By j On 12.26.2010 @ 4:40 am

alter

It never took long for a personality to alter once the lesser self-confident were introduced to a new crowd. They are almost like chameleons, fitting the image they think other people want to see. If only they would look in the mirror.

» Posted By J On 12.23.2010 @ 8:08 pm

cannon

He felt the cool black surface of the old weapon and could almost smell the gunpowder. If he closed his eyes, it felt the same against his palm as the old horses on the merry-go-round he’d loved to ride as a boy – layers and layers of heavy smooth paint.

» Posted By J On 12.20.2010 @ 8:52 am

He eyes the long black cannon with distrust radiating from his pupils. His hair is cropped short, face smeared with mud. The uniform on his body is tight and hot, too much cloth to be wearing in a jungle. Across the large expanse of field he hears shouting, angry shouts. They reverberate throughout the entire open area, and he tugs his hat down, preparing for gunshots.

» Posted By J On 12.20.2010 @ 12:06 am

stick

Don’t be such a stick in the mud.

But that’s what I am. I am a piece of wood in a puddle that has become muddy.

Then stop being such a smartass.

» Posted By J On 12.17.2010 @ 6:13 am

sheets

“Mom, I wet the bed again.”
“That’s okay, honey. We’ll clean it up.”
“I did a poo too.”
“…That’s…okay too…”
“And I vomed everywhere.”
“…ew….”

» Posted By J On 12.15.2010 @ 11:08 am

stamps

Look at my collection. My commemorative Conway Twitty stamps are my faves. They’re sooooo cool.

» Posted By J On 12.14.2010 @ 7:32 am

immense

Yo’ mama is so fat that she should probably see a doctor about it, and start exercising and eating healthier. Obesity kills.

» Posted By J On 12.11.2010 @ 6:55 am

believer

Then I saw her face.
But I’m an atheist.

» Posted By J On 12.10.2010 @ 7:43 am

teeth

I had the dream where the teeth fall out again. But this time, it wasn’t because of financial worries. I dreamed that my dog turned into the hulk and punch me right in the mouth.

» Posted By J On 12.07.2010 @ 4:41 am

transport

GET BACK TO ZEE CHOPPAH.

» Posted By J On 12.01.2010 @ 1:26 pm

spike

Spikes can hit to the heart.
And they often do.
More often than not they’re only in the feelings we have, but they feel real.
The best thing to do is to survive through it, and make the best you can.

A good cigarette is a formidable ally.

» Posted By J On 12.01.2010 @ 4:33 am

copper

Myah, see! You’ll nevah catch me, coppah!

Stop in the name of the law, cretin!

Myahh, see! I’ll rob whatever 7-11 I want, see!

You’ll never get away with this, copporne!
(Fuck, I tried for a pun, it didn’t work.)

» Posted By J On 11.30.2010 @ 2:01 am

science

The science of life is to live as fully as possible. Science is simply the way we live. It’s the choices we make and the consequences that occur as a result. Quantum leaps are made when we choose to move beyond our boundaries, beyond our comfort zones and simply live a life that is unexpected. Life is science.

» Posted By J On 11.19.2010 @ 7:41 pm

ivy

oh my fuck this itches so bad. pass me the hydrocortisone, darlin’.

» Posted By J On 11.16.2010 @ 4:15 am

junkyard

Junkyard dogs are real scary. They’ll eat just about anything or anyone. They’re real loud, too. Mexican junkyard dogs are the scariest.

» Posted By J On 11.14.2010 @ 4:23 pm

market

SHopping at the market, I see an old lover holding a cabbage while talking to his parter about which is better bok choy or nappa. I feel like a cabbage standing so near and unable to speak.

» Posted By j On 11.13.2010 @ 1:44 pm

lousy

I’m out of money. Having no money is lousy.

» Posted By J On 11.09.2010 @ 10:50 am

reader

What a terrible movie. Kate Winslet’s nipples look like pepperonis nowadays. At least she finally got that gosh darn Oscar.

» Posted By J On 11.08.2010 @ 9:21 am

feud

“Well, I says it’s about time we releases some nerve gas on the McCoy’s.”

“I had an inklin’ ’twas necessary about now.”

“Cleetus, is we commitin’ genocide?”

“Don’t be confusin’ me with yer doublespeak, PUSH THE BUTTON.”

» Posted By J On 11.04.2010 @ 5:33 am

elixir

Polyjuice potion tastes like butt. SNAPE’S butt.

» Posted By J On 11.03.2010 @ 3:36 pm

fangs

he thought about writing trueblood fan fiction where bill kills sookie and gets it on with erik, but realized there was no way he could write all that in a matter of seconds.

» Posted By J On 11.01.2010 @ 2:54 pm

adventure

Junior!

Stop calling me that, dad.

Fine then, Indiana, what artifact are we going to find now?

Artifact? Forget that. I’m on the quest for tenure now. Something you don’t understand, Mr. terrible-father-who-looked-for-bullshit-my-entire-childhood.

» Posted By J On 10.30.2010 @ 3:19 pm

sail

i sailed in the wind with a bird on my shoulder and i felt the breeze and the freedom and the adrenaline. everything was flowing like the waves through the ocean, pulled by the force of the moon, just as i was pulled by the force of life.

» Posted By J On 10.29.2010 @ 6:53 pm

i sailed in the wind with a bird on my shoulder and i felt the breeze and the freedom and the adrenaline. everything was flowing like the waves through the ocean, pulled by the force of the moon, just as i was pulled by the force of love.

» Posted By J On 10.29.2010 @ 6:52 pm

missed

“OH I MISSED” cried Wario upon his inability to win at bumper balls.
“YOOHOO” exclaimed the victorious Luigi as he raked up his reward of Mushroom Kindgom coins.

» Posted By J On 10.29.2010 @ 4:57 am

serene

Siddhartha looked most serene as he puffed that kush. I think that’s what made him so gosh darned enlightened.

» Posted By J On 10.27.2010 @ 6:25 am

microwave

OH JESUS CHRIST WHO PUT THE HAMSTER IN THERE, THIS IS A TERRIBLE MESS!

» Posted By J On 10.22.2010 @ 8:30 pm

whiskers

omg that cat is so cute look at its whiskers that’s the name of a litter brand oh no my train have thought has led me to cat shit.

» Posted By J On 10.21.2010 @ 11:35 am

table

Picnics. Gingham blankets spread before me like the different shades of the ocean, slowly rippling with every rush of wind. I wonder, where did they all go?

» Posted By J On 10.19.2010 @ 10:24 pm

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