Comments Posted By Ruben

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We had to gather. We had to put our heads together. This had to end now. Tray was the last straw. We were all on the chopping block. Their power was set to destroy us all. We wouldn’t give up. We had to treat them all the same. Our allies were ourselves. A shade lighter and they’d have to be shot.

» Posted By Ruben On 07.30.2013 @ 9:07 pm


It had come, the time was here for me to resist rising to the fate I’d long postponed. I had to make it to her first. I had to say good bye. I ran. As everything darkened around me and death’s shadow chased me, I ran. I had to hug my mother one last time. I had to say goodbye.

» Posted By Ruben On 07.29.2013 @ 11:26 pm


I had matured. That was the general consensus anyway. Was that supposed to be a consolation for the price my face had to pay. Wrinkles moved in early as my youth’s lease was cut short. Now dehydrated skin dwells where once my youth lay bountiful and sexy.

» Posted By Ruben On 07.28.2013 @ 9:21 pm


I had to copy paste and embellish. It was an easy job but I couldn’t help feeling like I was lying to someone even though I full heartily believed in the information delegated to me. I still wasn’t sure hiding his jail time was a good move.

» Posted By Ruben On 07.26.2013 @ 11:09 pm


I knew how to worship you without hinting at your godliness. You liked that. And I loved making a fool out of the gods. For they have wrought havoc upon my community, and I brought them to their knees. Filled them with sexual ecstasy and left them trembling on their backs.

» Posted By Ruben On 07.23.2013 @ 12:26 pm


My Pussycat screams because she is not heard when purring. My pussycat wails because it can no longer shed silent tears. My pussycat roars because it aims to destroy.

» Posted By Ruben On 07.22.2013 @ 7:39 pm


I had nothing of value for this year. Nothing I could tell my children. Nothing that would develop a fanbase. I only had tragedy and drunken tragedy to fill the gaps between 24 and 25. It was a year when my enemies won. And I deserved it.

» Posted By Ruben On 07.21.2013 @ 10:01 pm


I had to live under the radar. Even my roommates had to wonder if I still existed or if they were imagining the monthly $500 that appeared in their bank accounts. But I failed. I couldn’t help it if I liked loud music. Can anyone really listen to Beyonce with the volume turned down? So the CIA found me. Damnit Beyonce!

» Posted By Ruben On 07.18.2013 @ 12:24 pm


I couldn’t think of anything else to give her. My advice was not enough and money wouldn’t do her any good. Her situation was hopeless but she brought it upon herself. She needed to leave and face him but she stayed and drank all my wine instead.

» Posted By Ruben On 07.17.2013 @ 9:41 pm

It wasn’t my pain to feel but the cloud she brought with her soaked my apartment. It had been years since sorrow poured so heavily in my bubble. I did the prudent thing, I welcomed it.

» Posted By Ruben On 07.17.2013 @ 11:55 am


I walked away without a second thought. I couldn’t handle their bickering, carelesnnes, and their destructive lives. I had to think about me. My past was dark but I could rebuild myself and begin the foundations for my future. But first, I had to leave my family behind.

» Posted By Ruben On 07.16.2013 @ 11:27 pm


I tried to step away from my life for minutes… hours at a time… but it followed me into the megapixels acting out my commands. It slipped through the a, b, b,a, up, down, left starts. I had no control of anything even when it was a game.

» Posted By Ruben On 07.16.2013 @ 2:02 am


Black and unwanted. Like me. Like him. Like many others. Who have to be nicer than white folks. Because if you’ve worked any service job. You know white folks don’t give a shit about nice. But people of color work double time to be assumed as that all vanilla all tolerable all likeable-nice.

» Posted By Ruben On 07.14.2013 @ 10:46 pm


we delve and sunk but never betrayed the love for the other until we knew for sure we were to die. Then we choked the captain and made sure his eyes bled dry before we died ourselves. This was a a test of course. They tested our loyalty and we had none at the end. They executed the twins but let me live to see them beg for life as their eyes grew red before exploding.

» Posted By Ruben On 07.13.2013 @ 1:53 am


I didn’t want to take anything because I had work in a couple of hours and I always have the strangest reaction to everything! So I braved it out, brewed some tea, played some tunes ad begged this Summer cold to go away. But it was my fault and my body was punishing me for crushing it with stress, over thought, and overwork.

» Posted By Ruben On 07.11.2013 @ 12:14 pm


I was sick. It was a done deal with death. I had resigned to dying in bed without telling anyone. Let them pick me off this bed as my innards melt into the blankets. Let the maggots begin making me dust long before the maid gets home.

» Posted By Ruben On 07.10.2013 @ 9:28 am

I was wrapped in a mess. The type an earthquake would force feed me to in a second. But I had to configure and reconfigure the various chapters of my life, embodied as things, into this 10×12 I now called home.

» Posted By Ruben On 07.10.2013 @ 12:07 am


I couldn’t be happier to buy myself tons of things. With the money I saved on the sale I could have paid off much of my debt. Instead I dig myself deeper because pretty things distract. Isn’t that why older men fuck younger things? To keep their minds off their impending doom with dirty orgasms in cheap hotel rooms?

» Posted By Ruben On 07.09.2013 @ 12:46 am


I was finally creative. I figured out what the the implications of the tsunami. Or at least I think I did. It is my colossus. And I’ve merely scratched the surface. There is more to decipher. There is more to be done. But at least now I know what I’m facing. And where to begin.

» Posted By Ruben On 07.06.2013 @ 1:42 am


I try to find the will to overcome. Injury. Stress. Sadness. Ennui. I try to find it between my sheets. I try to find it in the orgasms of strangers. I try to find it in the bottom of wine bottles. But the will does not appear. Only Sloth and weight gain. Only lust and lubricant. Only highs with hangovers.

» Posted By Ruben On 07.02.2013 @ 9:50 pm


What a loaded word shot out to faggots like me every day. Wounding. Blinding former allies. Creating itchy scabs we pick and pick for years and years. Our atheism follows but somehow we are meant to feel it isn’t the answer.

» Posted By Ruben On 07.01.2013 @ 4:09 pm


While I inflate with carbs and sugar and gelatin. I think not of the many men I won’t bed this year, but think of the many taste buds who’d been waiting for a reason to taste cinnamon pretzels once again. I think not of the way clothes will fit me but of how good it feels to do nothing. I think not of the joy of exercise, only of the mild pain my knee still inflicts.

» Posted By Ruben On 06.29.2013 @ 12:51 am

I hadn’t been up so high for years. I was too afraid of heights. Or more importantly, of the doom they promised would result from any misstep. But I trusted him, or more importantly I had lived enough to take a few risks.

» Posted By Ruben On 06.28.2013 @ 12:24 pm


Had I been tricked? Was this artificial happiness reaching an expiration date? I was apprehensive about taking the plunge with this lover. Had he studied my mannerisms, learned of my hopes, dreams, and nuances, simply to abduct my mind and destroying the philosopher within?

» Posted By Ruben On 06.28.2013 @ 12:25 am


This word was brought to you by the term: Drag Queen. What a serendipitous moment when Jinx Monsoon mentions how drag brings joy to the world, as this word pops up on my dash. I am filled with the notion that someone is pulling my strings, tilting my head to an unavoidable truth which I am either too drunk or too proud or too stupid to attain.

» Posted By Ruben On 06.26.2013 @ 9:49 pm


My parents stood taller than me, but no longer over me. I had proven myself over the last few years. I didn’t need them. Their money. Or their love. They’d spent my entire life reiterating how lucky I was to have a wealthy family and how unequipped I was to take on the world. I’m battered and sad, but I’ve taken on the world.

» Posted By Ruben On 06.25.2013 @ 11:47 am


The cold in my wrists paid a visit during times of great stress. During strength training, before midterms, at a marathon’s starting line. So I had gotten comfortable with the inevitable loss of limbs.

» Posted By Ruben On 06.25.2013 @ 2:01 am


It was then among the masses that my success hit me. I cried. And no one knew why. And I knew no one cared. Still. I’d never felt more at ease with my life’s direction.

» Posted By Ruben On 06.24.2013 @ 10:43 am

I hadn’t walked so tall since I won the race for President. But ever since my disgraceful fall from the marble pedestal, I’ve gotten used to walking with my eyes on the ground. It was my time now. I was sure of it. Now it was up to everyone else to read it and weep.

» Posted By Ruben On 06.23.2013 @ 8:27 pm


I was a quarter hour away from pulling my hair and slamming my bones against these walls which were ready to evict me. Yet on the bike ride home, the breeze, and sun, and memory of him held a smiling procession to my stable life’s funeral.

» Posted By Ruben On 06.23.2013 @ 1:32 am

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