Comments Posted By Meredyth
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Well, just one more. That will not bring down a reign of plague or pestilence, in fact the universe will be largely untouched. It is only my willpower that will break, my self-esteem that will disappear, the hope for my future that will blur and become just like today. And then, the worst effect, this will become a habit. I will not fail from choice, but from habit.
» Posted By Meredyth On 04.01.2013 @ 9:18 am
“And another thing,” she said. “What you say isn’t cast in bronze. It is not something to bet the house on, it is not even real, just wishful thinking most of the time.” I still didn’t know what I had done to trigger this rant. People shouldn’t bottle up their grudges and then spill them out like warm jelly, as though their brains had popped open and were leaking.
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.29.2013 @ 4:17 am
I look at wheat rippling in the field and think of sex. I see clouds banking on the horizon and think of sex. Is it just me, am I alone in this as in everything? Sex is about the past, each experience coloured by every other physical experience and yet the memories are empty and sad. They replay like old movies lacking warmth and sound, texture and taste, but mostly they lack surprise and mystery.
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.29.2013 @ 6:21 pm
“I will throw something together, just give me a minute,” she said and instantly was raging around the kitchen like a tornado. She flew about, opening cupboards and banging pots and pans. The tea hanging towels flapped in the breeze as she rushed passed. Clouds of flour dust were released when finally she clapped her hands to get our attention. It had been just a moment. On the table before us was spread bread and ham, scones and cream, and hot tea.
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.27.2013 @ 1:31 pm
“Where would you get that idea and why are you telling me this. No-one is destined to have bad luck. That is just superstitious nonsense.”
She sounded so certain that I thought she knew what she was talking about. She spoke as though I was the only one walking around with a cloud over my head, the only one being rained on.
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.26.2013 @ 1:31 pm
“This is not the end of the world. Don’t act as if everything is a calamity. Pick up the pieces and I will help you start again.”
Sometimes things shouldn’t just go back the way they were. Life can break so it can’t be fixed and then you need to stop and grieve. It was not the same and it was not going to be the same tomorrow or next week. She was too obtuse to realise that. For her the sun rose every morning and you were supposed to just carry on.
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.26.2013 @ 3:45 am
“I don’t want to eat pecan crusted anything, it makes me think of braised peacocks, or quails poached in brandy with their tiny bones.” I was listening to her as she prattled along. Her voice sounded like the car bumping over the uneven dirt track and what she said was as aimless as the path we were taking. We were moving up into the mountains, into the mist.
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.25.2013 @ 8:19 am
When do you feel strong? You need to feel like a wall, your values the bricks that the world sees and they should give you strength. Within this wall is the life you are growing for you and your family.
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.23.2013 @ 4:08 am
The message I read in her eyes was, “beware. I have my eyes on you. I know your plan and it is not going to work.” She turned and marching forward, carved a path to the office through the crowd. It parted before her with me trailing in her wake.
She spoke finally. “Donations are welcome,” she said, “but giving money doesn’t buy you special treatment. The donations we get keep the doors open and we are not too proud to take money. What we reward here is people giving up their time and helping out.” The speech sounded old and tired, the hope leached out of it.
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.21.2013 @ 4:36 am
Why is it all about the numbers? It has pained me to see students with their heads down and pens writing furiously, for a word count. Whether it is fifty words or two thousand words a day, the focus is on the goal and hitting the target. The content is spurious, specious, leaves me speechless with it’s irrelevance. Words have the finesse of a hammers, to nail down the count.
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.20.2013 @ 5:09 am
“If you want to know the truth, I don’t know where you would be without me. What would you do without me, I ask myself?” It was a rhetorical question, I am not sure she knew I was here. I am not sure she even knew she was speaking aloud. As she walked through the room touching the top of chairs and mumbling, her behaviour seemed to be a ritual, as though driven by some personal obsession. Having been jolted awake it felt like a dream manifest. In my dislocated state her monologue assumed a prophetic quality and I was filled with dread.
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.19.2013 @ 5:43 am
I have slowed down. Movement through cities and in and out of networked spaces feels constantly to be pushing against a current, moving on an incline or around a slowly rising gradient. When I pause, against my will, my chin falls onto my chest, my eyes close and before I know it my breathing has slowed and all momentum is lost. Around me the brutal battle of activity appears retarded, the violence more vivid and inevitable in slow motion.
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.18.2013 @ 4:19 am
“We need to work with this. It is not going away,” he said.
“Are you crazy? I am not going on a covert operation, spooking for you, just because you are frightened of shadows. This is really close to stalking and I don’t know that I trust you. What are you planning to do with this?”
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.16.2013 @ 5:29 pm
When you do this part of the script, make sure you are not subtle. In this character everything needs to be out there, it is as if he is living on the outside of his skin. The more overt and proud the better the elements of the character will show up. He walks around like a beacon, shining on everyone and everything around him. He never looks back and he doesn’t questions himself; he is unstoppable and cannot be diverted when he is taken with an idea.
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.16.2013 @ 3:01 am
“And another thing,” she said. “Every time you come over here something goes wrong. You are like a charm, the kind that bring eternal bad luck.”
Looking out the window I watched birds fly south, leaves adrift in the gusting wind and thought about tomorrow. It would be much like today, I guessed. Having vented her spite today tomorrow promised to be bathed in a damp apologetic silence. I would miss that if I didn’t turn up. An abstract thought alighted, making me wonder if this point was evidence of free will, proof positive that I was in charge of my life.
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.14.2013 @ 5:43 am
“Advance”, he said. “Advance to the front.” I took a small step forward. We had walked out onto the stage and bunched together at the back under the glare of the spotlights awaiting instructions. The voice of the director sprang out of the dark immediately, making us jump. He must have known his reputation would intimidate us. Around me the other women flowed and assumed poses, plastering on their practice smiles. They seemed like clockwork mannequins or pulled puppets responding to invisible strings and yet all as graceful as swans.
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.13.2013 @ 4:19 am
Through the withered leaves detaching from the tree and floating away I saw the strong scaffolding of branches. Clouds were scudding along forming striped trails in as they hurtled across the sky. On the grass leaves had been raked into high piles but the new leaves fell in tessellating patterns on the path at my feet, crackling as I walked over this bonfire of colours.
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.10.2013 @ 4:33 pm
“Have you seen this?” she asked. The map spread out in front of her showed the path we have mapped last night but she wasn’t pointing to that. In front of us the terrain looked wild and impassable. The path disappeared into the landscape, overtaken by vegetation and covered in land slides and gravel. “There must be another way around. This don’t look like it will get us there, at least not without a struggle.”
“It is the shortest way,” I said. “You are right, though. Who knows what else has been dismantled around the corner and there are some steep climbs coming up.”
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.09.2013 @ 4:32 pm
“Not only, but also,” she said. There must be a point where meaning is more important than style; this dilemma did not appear on her horizon. For her it was all style, the purpose being to show up the competition into ranting, raw and fretful barbarians.
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.08.2013 @ 1:57 pm
“Haven’t you heard the news? It was everywhere, telling us to go outside at 10am,” she said. I could see everyone packing up, tidying their desks, moving quietly out of the building.
Of the multiple signals that beckoned daily, this was a direct sign, a personal message to me. I was called and I could not ignore it. Walking to the door I felt warm and joyful; I was part of the movement outside. We were all going together.
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.07.2013 @ 3:17 am
“Ok, just this,” she said. “I will do this and then I must go and sleep.”
She was a lamb, a real pet. The least little attention and she would be following you around trying to help.
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.05.2013 @ 2:37 am
This is intermission, a pause between courses. Are you a weakling, falling by the wayside? Where is your stamina? It is not every day you are given a stuffed pig cooked over hot coals with the juices pouring out and making your fingers and face glisten and shine.
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.04.2013 @ 12:51 am
Who would have thought that something so slight could instill such a sense of terror and despondency in me. It was the difference between being invisible and being caught in the headlights of an oncoming train.
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.03.2013 @ 6:23 am
“Why would you try this on me? I thought we were friends,” she said. “It is an act; something you conjured up using smoke and mirrors, isn’t it? I have seen you manage people like this before.” She paused, there was no response.
He shrugged and looked to the ground. His body language read like guilt and shame, but she could only read it as part of the game, as a deception. Now she could not look at him without being critical, and it was his fault.
“Sometimes it is just the challenge,” he said finally. “I wanted to see if it would work with you. It was just practice.”
» Posted By Meredyth On 03.01.2013 @ 5:32 pm
“Haven’t we been here before?” he asked. Our knock on the door had found no response.
The house was silent, as were the other houses we had tried in the street. Looking into the hallway though the small pane in the door, fleeting patterns of sunlight from a far window gave the illusion of movement, almost like a resting heartbeat.
“Shall we try the next one?” I asked. I moved down the path, not expecting an answer.
» Posted By Meredyth On 02.27.2013 @ 3:07 pm
“Too fed up and bleeding tired, that is my problem,” he said. “Fed up with being taken advantage of, having shit thrown in my face and putting up with the abuse you dish out.”
» Posted By Meredyth On 02.27.2013 @ 4:07 am
“It was just unexpected. I was startled and the jug dropped.” She spoke quickly, rushing the words out in a breath. “Out of my hand, I mean: I did drop it.”
Her fragility was appealing, as was her attempt at claiming blame. I hadn’t noticed her which was probably why jumping up and breaking into song had the effect it did. My exuberance may not have been applauded by the universe, but the world had reacted. Or at least she had.
» Posted By Meredyth On 02.26.2013 @ 5:00 am
“Why do you do this? You embroider and embellish even the most trivial situations. This is not an experience, it is life and after the fun there is the tedium of washing up and putting the cat out.”
“Don’t be such a stick in the mud,” she said. “You can fall in love next time.”
“That is not love,” I replied. “This one sees you as someone who needs to be entertained between free meals. And I end up doing the cooking and washing up.”
“Don’t try and put me out like the cat; I am not one of your chores. I will dream. I thinks he likes that.”
» Posted By Meredyth On 02.25.2013 @ 4:17 am
The goal is daily survival; to last the distance and drag back to my cave a remnant of my self esteem that will warm me in the night and get me up the next day.
» Posted By Meredyth On 02.23.2013 @ 11:06 pm
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In the early morning when the noises in the house echo in the stillness and sound like a stampede of footfalls, I have stalled and inspiration has escaped through that crack where the chill and the breeze creeps in.
» Posted By Meredyth On 02.23.2013 @ 9:21 am