Comments Posted By Kate312

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I’ve always savored the smell of gasoline since I was a youngling. Who’s with me?

» Posted By Kate312 On 04.16.2011 @ 8:59 am


Zebras lavish in the taste of crisp lime Popsicles in the hot, savanna sun as green droplets trickle down the perfectly carved wooden stick bearing blue text telling the beginning of a riddle: What’s black, white, and red all over? The zebras slurp until the punchline is revealed: A sunburnt zebra. Alas, zebras frequently forget to apply sunscreen.

» Posted By Kate312 On 04.14.2011 @ 12:45 pm


Three e’s seperated by an s, v, and r. SVR is sever. With an e is severe. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh. I’m really failing today like I failed a few days ago. I burnt my leg on an oven door tonight, not severely, but it still hurts. Colon. Left parenthesis.

» Posted By Kate312 On 04.13.2011 @ 8:10 pm


Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Whelp, I just happen to lack any kind of brain power today. Obsolete. Obese? Cheese? Couches? Obsolete couches? Ob. Sooooooooooooooooooooo. LEEEEET. The word has a nice ring to it. So many o’s and e’s and curvy letters.

» Posted By Kate312 On 04.12.2011 @ 8:41 pm


Termites devoured the bookshelf my grandfather gave to me. They sliced it up, grilled it, and served it on the hotdog buns from the refrigerator. Onto these hotdogs they squirted ketchup and mustard and relish. Oh grandfather, if you had known your prized bookshelf was being eaten by wooden hotdog-loving termites, you would have joined them in the feast.

» Posted By Kate312 On 04.11.2011 @ 12:12 pm


The desert of the volcanic valley was parched. No water to be found. Alas, far away, I did spot a sailboat. I ran to it, desiring the water underneath. But when I approached the boat, I saw the lake of molten lava that was seeping into the sail boat, thus sinking it. I dipped my hand into the lake for a taste anyway.

» Posted By Kate312 On 04.10.2011 @ 11:59 am


Alumni. Aluminum. What is the difference? Would a rose smell as sweet if by another name?

Alumni is somebody who went to a school but graduated.

Aluminum is a handy tool for wrapping, covering, and cooking.

Aluminum could also be used to make a spaceship and an outdoor oven.

Alumni, however, would not make a good spaceship.

» Posted By Kate312 On 04.09.2011 @ 12:04 pm


It wasn’t the soap box that did it. It was the razor. The razor murdered the loofa. The shampoo claimed it saw the soap do it, being so slippery all of the time. And the conditioner was suspicious of the razor. But the razor also claimed it saw, without a doubt, the soap slide directly into the loofa’s stomach and kill it from the inside. The razor lied. The soap died.

» Posted By Kate312 On 04.08.2011 @ 8:41 pm


It was the last jelly donut on the try. I saw the whale of a man across the break room. His name was Peter McGlutton. I knew he wanted that donut. I dashed toward the donut as he set his stubby legs in action. Closer, closer, closer. I could almost reach it. Strawberry it would be, so delicious and decadent. But his hammy hands snatched that donut out of my reach and stuffed it into his black hole of a mouth. I hope there was laxative in that donut.

» Posted By Kate312 On 04.07.2011 @ 1:18 pm


The two unicorns were connected at the horns. But I suppose two unicorns connected at the tip of their horns would have two horns rather than one, which would be the definition of a unicorn. Perhaps they make one bicorn. Bicorn could very well be a fancy diesel fuel formula, too.

» Posted By Kate312 On 04.06.2011 @ 10:25 pm


I had the strength of one thousand whales. I use this God-given strength to lift buildings from their concrete and throw them into the ocean. The whales need cities too, and since my strength was comparable to whales, this struck me as a marvelous idea. Paint fumes, however, do not a marvelous idea make.

» Posted By Kate312 On 04.05.2011 @ 2:38 pm

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