Comments Posted By Janine

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Peter had been watching this montage for weeks. An adolescent girl would wander across the baseball diamond, barefoot, carrying a pair of flats in one hand.

“I worry about her,” he said aloud, as the girl chose her favourite blue swing.

His wife had stopped answering. That year would pass in myriad and impatience, measured in tiny squares from his wife’s Diana Ross calendar. She would keep x-ing, the girl would keep swinging, and Peter would keep watching. It was a cycle he sometimes pretended to hate.

» Posted By Janine On 06.01.2011 @ 9:27 am


The phone booth had cracked Plexiglass and ads for a missing girl, another plain-Jane face I didn’t recognize. Norah Goldwyn, age 12, brown eyes. I dug two quarters out of my back pocket and chanted his work number, like a mantra, to myself.

» Posted By Janine On 05.24.2011 @ 1:41 pm

Vaughn’s was a flea market where employees bummed cigarettes on their lunch break. Even down the road, standing in a phone booth with cracked Plexiglass, I could hear them perfectly.
“I know you have smokes,” the woman insisted. “I gave you a Camel Light yesterday. Don’t be such a penny pincher.”
The penny pincher laughed.

» Posted By Janine On 05.24.2011 @ 1:27 pm


I watched Shane through heavy lids, watched him eat a Super Pretzel and snoop through my sock drawer. For what, I wondered? Sex tapes and emergency cash?

After he left the next morning, I would notice a thumb-sized mustard stain on my comforter. I would notice that my room smelled like strawberry incense, that he’d also snooped through my medicine cabinet.

But at that juncture, I shut my eyes and ignored the boy eating a frozen pretzel at the foot of my bed.

» Posted By Janine On 05.22.2011 @ 7:04 pm


As a girl, I would steal anything my sticky little fingers could reach. Chocolates, plastic cars, lipstick: they all met their destiny in my Paddington Bear knapsack.

» Posted By Janine On 05.23.2011 @ 12:43 pm


Sol used to talk about eloping in New Mexico. The most arid, sun-kissed wasteland we could find. He promised stucco houses and cactuses and papayas for breakfast. He wanted to trade our Sable for a minivan, for car seats and plastic and sippy cups.

The Wasteland Plastic, he said. But I’d never really wanted kids.

» Posted By Janine On 05.13.2011 @ 1:07 pm

Sol used to talk about eloping in New Mexico. The most arid, sun-kissed wasteland we could find. He talked about stucco houses and cactuses and papayas for breakfast. He promised me the biggest diamond Kay Jeweler’s could find. He wanted to trade our Sable for a minivan, for car seats and plastic and sippy cups.

The Wasteland Plastic, he said. But my ring never came.

» Posted By Janine On 05.13.2011 @ 1:02 pm


She still wears your blue bandana, the one that used to smell like brown sugar and chlorine. She wears it with giant bug-eyed sunglasses and plastic rings from the 25-cent machine. She wears that blue bandana like a crown, like it’s made of gold instead of cheap cotton. I just thought you should know.

– Holly

» Posted By Janine On 05.02.2011 @ 2:14 pm


Hysterical like jokes. Nothing hysterical about my day. Just sat here. I was sick. Ate some fruits. Yogurt. Even went outside this one time because I needed to get some food. Being sick sucks when your mom’s not around. Even when you are an adult. I wish my mom was here.

» Posted By Janine On 04.14.2011 @ 2:26 pm


I am connected. I am on my laptop and in the sun. Connected to my street and neighboorhood and to the rest of the world at once. The internet is huge. So is my neigboorhood. So is the sun. So is the cruella the Ville coat from the nineties I’m wearing. I like today.

» Posted By Janine On 04.07.2011 @ 9:51 am

“You can’t leave me, Holly,” he says, biting into a jelly donut. “We have a connection.”

He sounds so cocky; so sure that, because of the ugly ring he’s forced onto my hand, I have No Way Out.

» Posted By Janine On 04.06.2011 @ 12:49 pm


This was supposed to be a success story. I was supposed to graduate med school with a head full of anatomy, of bone growth and organ functions. I was supposed to make everyone Better. But my watercolor life has run dry, and instead of diplomas and stories about my roommate, I have nothing. Just a threadbare trench coat and eyes that are tired of seeing.

» Posted By Janine On 04.04.2011 @ 12:37 pm


What kind of plan is this? I’m a captain without a compass, a scout without a map. I have no sense of direction. I have eyes the color of lake water and skin that crawls. I have a tank half-empty and an ugly passport to remind me who I am. This is Me, Me, Me. And I’m not going anywhere.

» Posted By Janine On 04.03.2011 @ 11:59 am


I want to soar through the galaxy with striped wings and pearls in my eyes. I want to be that rhinestone baby, that extra minute, the lines you cross. Let me fly. Don’t brush away the glitter on the screen. Laugh with your bubblegum lips and send a wave to the nearest planet; I’ll be there.

» Posted By Janine On 04.03.2011 @ 10:47 am


An ego is a thing to forget. Forgetting your ego is the key to happiness. The eternal kind. It is what I strive for in life.

» Posted By Janine On 04.01.2011 @ 11:57 am


I have so little money and yet I want to buy a lot of shoes. A lot. A Carrie Bradshaw lot. If only all the shoes in the world were for free. If only I had lots of money. Sigh. I’m not dumb. I just like shoes.

» Posted By Janine On 03.16.2011 @ 8:45 am


I was really hoping to just find a word I had never heard about and fantasize about it. But this is nice as well. Statement. Reminds me of fashion. Or politics. I feel like writing about galliano or Japan. ‘Anisemitic statements’ You know. Ahh this is hard.

» Posted By Janine On 03.11.2011 @ 4:20 am


willows remind me of my boyfriend, who always wanted to have one in his garden. they convey a beautiful sort of melancholy or even sadness. also, pocahontas’ grandmother is one. basically, i want one.

» Posted By Janine On 12.07.2010 @ 12:33 pm


the leaves rustle when the winds blow through them, who could it be? perhaps a small rabbit. perhaps a person you’ve yet to meet. the sound of rustling could bring so many strange and wonderful things.

» Posted By Janine On 08.23.2010 @ 6:38 pm


flashbacks make me think of old movies – how they won’t reveal everything that they know when they first see it, but later, they will say, “oh, but remember this!” and then you are sort of left feeling out of the loop. like you weren’t good enough to be let in on the story.

» Posted By janine On 08.09.2010 @ 12:27 pm


I was pleased to lay on his mattress, to feel his mouth on my neck and listen to the animal sounds escape between us. I was pleased to have the warmth, pleased to feel my legs on his back. I was wanted, for once. I was whole.

» Posted By Janine On 07.14.2010 @ 4:45 pm


My little sister was killed by a black bear on a camping trip last year. Ever since, I’ve been terrified of my teddy bear.

» Posted By Janine On 07.08.2010 @ 11:40 pm


I am in the clinic, but not for my health, it is for my mind. The crazies, they call it. But I am not crazy, I can’t be. No, I am not. I am but wise and intelligent, telling you of things you refuse to know. Rather than crazy, I am alive, I am well, I see all. And I box out none. I am in the clinic, not for my crazyness, but for my heart, and the story it tells.

» Posted By Janine On 05.15.2009 @ 2:48 pm


Can you pretend to look within my eyes and not see my pain? How can you play with the strings of my heart, play a song of beauty and grace, until you get bored. So let’s play pretend, all over again, and hope for a new beginning, instead of pretend, let’s see reality.

» Posted By Janine On 05.04.2009 @ 9:38 am


I have loaned my heart to you, my dear friend. I have loaned my soul for the price you have bargained. You see, you are the world to me, my friend. You are everything that surrounds me. So I will loan, give, or take whatever is needed to ensure your existance. I will loan my mind to the lonely gods, so they may have something to play with. You see, I have loaned out everything of mine for you, Now, I have nothing.

» Posted By Janine On 12.30.2008 @ 10:15 pm

Some people need a loan to buy somehting. A loan is an amount of money that you get from someone. We had to get a loan to remodel our living rom. We like to get low interest rates when we get loans from people. It’s not a good idea to loan someone money. Your friends can quickly

» Posted By Janine On 12.30.2008 @ 6:28 pm


flowers are beautiful and never the same. i love looking at flowers as we drive by, they give me hope and clarity and i love to stop and pick them and put them in my hair or save them to dry in a book. my favorite are daffodils.

» Posted By janine On 09.10.2009 @ 9:54 pm


A love knot. I’m seeing a beautiful gold ring and those lovely thin gold wirings intracately woven into a knot just as my love for you is so entangled. Cannot tell where the knot begins or ends

» Posted By Janine On 09.10.2009 @ 10:34 am


I lost track on the tracks of my life, I thought following the one path would get me right where I wanted, But what happens when there is a fork in the tracks? And a decision is forced into my head, yeah, the tracks weren’t the brightest idea, from now on I take a path less walked on, I am treking through the forest of my dreams.

» Posted By Janine On 06.24.2009 @ 9:00 am


i feel like my job is gonna suffocate me. it is such a shitty job but some one has to do it. its like drowning – its the same sensation, suffocating, not breathing, the terror followed by the eternal calm….peace, quiet……for ever……eternity! Suffocate slowely…..

» Posted By Janine On 06.18.2009 @ 1:38 am

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