Comments Posted By Emma

Displaying 61 To 90 Of 1,485 Comments

cute

In my mind, she’s always smiling. She never smiled that much in real life, but when she did, it had a way of printing itself into my memory. I told her that I loved her smile a hundred times. I wish I could have told her a hundred more.

» Posted By Emma On 10.30.2016 @ 7:01 pm

thieves

I kept walking, pulling my collar up even further against the cold. I could hear footsteps behind me, at least three pairs. I sped up.

» Posted By Emma On 10.27.2016 @ 7:41 am

institute

I pulled the hat down even lower over my eyes. It was already too big and drooped comically over my ears, but I would rather have any passers-by to think I was merely a slouch, rather than see what I really was.

» Posted By Emma On 10.25.2016 @ 6:36 pm

The institute stopped us from succeeding. We had done all of the research, compiled all of the genetic code, but they didn’t want us to know. Once they realized how close we had gotten to the answer, they destroyed it all. I’m surprised they didn’t also destroy us. Much of that research is left in our brains. It will take years to redo, but we have years and we will find the solution. We’ll just have to learn to hide better this time around.

» Posted By Emma On 10.25.2016 @ 5:22 am

White walls, white ceiling, white tile floors. The worst part is that it’s all off-white, not the gleaming shine of a sci-fi space ship, but a tired and dirty old building

» Posted By Emma On 10.24.2016 @ 11:27 am

excluded

Living in Uganda as an American, I feel excluded from many things. I am white; they are black. I am rich; they are poor. I wear pants; they wear skirts. I am cold culture; they are warm culture. I try to overcome these exclusions, but they see me a certain way and I cannot change that. We have so many similarities; they far outweigh our differences. However, that is the human condition, to concentrate on those things that we don’t understand and aren’t familiar with. We are friends, we share good times and meals, but I will never fit in completely. I will never walk up to the village without being yelled at, “Muzungu” and asked for sweeties. They seem like such small things, but it can be exhausting to be seen as so different from everyone else. It’s exhausting to worry about those that dare to be friends with you, because their community decides that they must be rich to associate with a white person and excludes them based on that. You don’t want to cause problems for your Ugandan friends. You don’t want them to be attacked at night walking home because other villagers assume they have money from always hanging out with you. You want to blend in. You want to spend one day with people seeing you as a person first, as who you are, and not as a skin tone. You want to be treated the same as everyone else. You want to learn and acclimate to the culture. You want to make everyone more comfortable by minimizing the differences. However, you know those differences are what make you, you. Differences are what makes living in this culture and country so incredible and enjoyable. Learning new things and meeting new people who might think differently from you and have backgrounds you never experienced. This is the part that you enjoy the most. Until I came to Uganda I never felt particularly bad for my whiteness. I accepted white privilege and tried to be aware of what that means for my culture back home, but I was happy to be me. Now all I want is to be included. All I want is to spend one day being black to experience Uganda and not be excluded based on what I look like.

» Posted By Emma On 10.24.2016 @ 12:59 am

I sat down at the edge of the group, trying to quietly shift myself among them. The woman next to me glanced in my direction, but I did not hold her attention for more than a second before she was back to the conversation at hand.

» Posted By Emma On 10.23.2016 @ 8:28 am

certified

“I know what I’m doing.” He grunted, pushing down harder on my abdomen. I didn’t have to look to know that blood was still seeping out. “Really?” I asked. “Because it feels like you don’t.”

» Posted By Emma On 10.22.2016 @ 7:08 am

iron

The bars rattled as he shook them, screaming. His long dirty hair covered his eyes, but I knew that I would see madness if I looked into them.

» Posted By Emma On 10.21.2016 @ 11:14 am

Steam was rising from the shirt when I pulled the iron off. The patch of shirt it had been sitting on was burned through. I pulled the plug on the old thing and continued my search of the house.

» Posted By Emma On 10.20.2016 @ 4:55 pm

steps

Running, panting for breath, I chased. The man in the black jacket was twenty, fifteen, ten steps ahead of me. I could see the sweat on the back of his neck. I closed in.

» Posted By Emma On 10.20.2016 @ 5:35 am

“One, two, three, four.” I stop, gasping. Air seers into my lungs as I pant, but I cannot seem to catch my breath. After a minute – maybe two – I convince myself to keep going. “One, two, three, four.”

» Posted By Emma On 10.19.2016 @ 10:30 am

dawn

The light was beginning to filter into the room, illuminating what had happened the night before. Broken furniture, smashed glass, and two bodies laying at odd angles.

» Posted By Emma On 10.18.2016 @ 5:42 am

Waking up is always my favorite part of the day. I always make sure to find a room in a new apartment, dorm room, house that is facing towards the dawn. The colors change, but the feeling stays the same. The start of a new day, the pinks and purples, the oranges. The sun coming over the edge of the trees in Pennsylvania, above the fields of sheep in England or through the cut out brick in the wall in the middle of Uganda. The joy that comes from a new days sun streaming through and lighting up the world around you, lighting up you, can not be replaced by anything.

» Posted By Emma On 10.18.2016 @ 2:51 am

misguided

“Of course it will be OK.” She’s smiling at me, but it seems to have more bite in it than it had a minute ago. “Just walk on in. No one will mind in the slightest.”

» Posted By Emma On 10.17.2016 @ 12:14 pm

I knew what I was doing. I was sure of it. But my foot still trembled as I pulled myself up onto the railing of the overpass. The girl next to me glanced over, and I met her gaze fore a second. I wondered if I looked as scared as she did.

» Posted By Emma On 10.16.2016 @ 5:28 pm

haunt

Hey eyes had a haunted quality, shadowed and hollow, like looking into an empty room through a dark window. She blinked and turned away.

» Posted By Emma On 10.12.2016 @ 6:49 pm

incognito

Incognito. Hidden from view. I try to keep my feelings that way. I try to hide them. Plaster a smile on. It doesn’t really seem to work. I try so hard to keep it all under wraps, it all come bubbling to the surface. It’s embarrassing and I feel crazy. I just want to be happy. I just want to find what makes me happy. I thought it was him…but I’m not sure. I’m so happy when I’m with him, but I’m so sad when I’m not. I don’t want to be dependent. I don’t want to feel like I need him. When he gets mad at me or doesn’t want to talk, I don’t want to be distraught all day until it resolves itself. I want to compartmentalize better. Is this how love goes? Am I supposed to be this dependent on another person? Or is it a sign of an unhealthy relationship? It’s been so long now. I don’t know.

» Posted By Emma On 10.02.2016 @ 12:19 am

degree

Something that I hope to one day have! I’m not sure what I’d get one in, but today I’ve been toying around with the idea of Aviation – mostly likely mechanics.
These are semi-important things that denote a measure of experience/learning achieved in the subject the degree is in. Basically a fancy way of putting that it’s a piece of paper that said “I done learned stuff”. Boop

» Posted By Emma On 09.26.2016 @ 12:20 pm

casual

A sense of person. A type of clothing. What a lot of people call dating now. What could be perceived as lacklustre can be a break from reality and from a well buttoned front.

It can be a tipping point between yes and no.

» Posted By Emma On 09.25.2016 @ 3:12 am

parking

Parking can be an absolute pain and not to mention expensive. The thing I hate most about parking is the time it takes to find a space but also parallel and reverse parking, nightmare. Life is made so much easier these days by having parking sensors.

» Posted By Emma On 09.18.2016 @ 11:50 am

crystals

i find it funny how people look at a crystal and see the light. Its never occured to me there may be any might. a god to me is bigger than you can see. faith in a rock is exactly what it sounds to like, to me.

» Posted By emma On 09.11.2016 @ 9:54 pm

oven

I open the oven to freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. Coming to my grandma’s every Saturday has always been the best part of the week for the last few years of my life. We talk, we knit, we discuss politics, we bake, we go out and buy new books, we talk about God and all that I’m confused about in life. She is my best friend.

» Posted By Emma On 09.06.2016 @ 11:28 pm

upset

She sighed. “Not again.”
“What’s got you down?” he asked.
Same as always, she thought, but told him nothing — nothing had her down.
Maybe it was stress. Who knows. She was just upset for no reason and it made no sense and she hated it. Too much was going on, too many things to focus on, and all of them frustrating and impossible to deal with. It’s not like he would understand, anyways. Between fake friends and drama in a group of people she was supposed to be able to trust with her life, rendering her alone and miserable, and the stresses of school and everyday existence, there wasn’t a whole lot for him to *get.*

» Posted By emma On 08.22.2016 @ 7:38 pm

van

I got in the van. We drove all day and I didn’t want to say goodbye yet, but the night came and it was time. All day in a van to the airport to tell the love of my life that I would miss him so much and see him in 5 months. I cried as he left and watched him walk through the door to his plane. I missed him even while I could still see him, probably before.

» Posted By Emma On 08.18.2016 @ 8:22 am

olive

A small glass jar on the second shelf of that eight-year-old fridge.

» Posted By Emma On 07.27.2016 @ 8:37 pm

bank

I don’t have a lot of money, but when I get some I just kind of stick it in there. It’s satisfying…makes me feel like I’m all grown up and ready to do stuff on my own. The only thing that bothers me is they never give me lollipops anymore because they can tell I’m too old. C’MON. I’m NEVER too old for candy.

» Posted By Emma On 07.22.2016 @ 4:19 pm

dad

Graeme. unaffectionate however always loving, it is ultimately the attention and time that has mattered to me as an adult and not the lack of material and unimportant things in an attempt to show love.

» Posted By Emma On 06.21.2016 @ 2:18 am

bread

something i desire, but can’t have. i want to stuff myself with it, become doughy, and crusty. but i hold back, always hold back. bread, you represent things i cannot have, and a sadness at my desire for them. fuck you bread… i wish i could.

» Posted By emma On 05.31.2016 @ 12:48 pm

chaos

There is a certain beauty to a chaotic mind, like a messy room filled with memories. It seems as though a tornado has blown through the area, ripping and unrooting and shredding; but at the same time, there is a calm after the tornado, and when the chaos clears, there’s a cradling silence to lull you to sleep. I think this is what our minds are like, what human nature is like. It’s beautiful and chaotic.

» Posted By Emma On 05.18.2016 @ 11:50 am

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