I don’t really miss you anymore, but I miss who I was then.
I miss summer.
I miss school.
I miss the time I had free.
I miss the way your eyes followed me like I was worth everything,
And I miss the way I could trust so firmly.
You can’t go back, and I rarely want to, but I wish I could feel it once more.
Fell in love? More like tripped.
I was not the dreamy kind of girl. I was recovering from a too long dysfunctional relationship.
And then you catapulted me into liking you. Your smile. Your eyes. Your love of science fiction and classic rock.
I’m not exactly annoyed, but I am confused. How do I like you so much already?
Sometimes, when everyone is asleep, and the world seems to have calmed down for a moment, I feel like the entire universe consists only of my little room. Arrogant, I know. This feeling is usually good, but also frequently unbearable. Despite this, I often find myself wondering, if I never go to sleep, will morning still come? Would the sun still…[Read more]
I am a creature of habit.
I tend to make the same mistakes. I tend to fall into old routines. I tend to be socially inept because of habit, not because of a lack of understanding.
I tend to dream. I tend to make plans. I tend to want a lot and get only a little.
I want to be a free creature, but I am slave to my habits.
His features are carved in stone. Mine are made of play-doh.
Why would he be interested in me?
When he smiles, it’s a little bit difficult to breathe. I always thought that was founded in hyperbole and myth.
I have been so guarded these past few years. I got my heart broken by my best friend of half my life. And I thought I’d never get…[Read more]
Some people have called me musical.
I play ukulele and guitar. Plus a little bit of piano. I have performed at various restaurants, music festivals, and grand openings for the last 5 years or so. I have written 136 songs. I have won talent shows. Everyone and their grandma say I should go on American Idol. I don’t want that. I just want to play…[Read more]
It is typical procedure to grow up.
Turn 18. Get a job. Move out. Move on. Be mature. Pay your bills on time. Get married. have kids. Be satisfied and not at all scared.
Time is moving fast than I expected.
I was never the child who talked about how much they wanted to be grown up. I did not pretend to be twenty. I have never said “I…[Read more]
That is not a game.
THIS is a game.
I don’t care about Monopoly, or Sorry!, or Connect Four, or Racko, or Risk, or Settlers of Catan (OK, I kind of care about that one).
This is a game. You, me, and a deck of cards. Both of us lying and telling the truth and trying to figure out which is which.
All’s fair in poker, love, and war.…[Read more]
In due time.
I am tired of waiting. So very tired. But I can’t sleep. A few hours of unconsciousness, not sleep.
I have hope. More than most people have, in fact. But I am still so scared.
I’ve been staying in bed, saying I’m sick, which is true and a lie I am not physically ill. I am sick inside.
In due time, things will improve.…[Read more]
You just have to be patient, love.
I have seen so many girls, just a few years older than I, rush into marriage, pregnant, and under 20. I don’t understand it.
Except when I’m around you. All I want right now is you. You make me feel so happy. You don’t turn me into a babbling idiot. I can breathe around you. A couple butterflies, but…[Read more]
She sighed reluctantly. Of COURSE he wasn’t available. Who would want to spend their Friday evening watching The Empire Strikes Back and discussing Doctor Who. She had Starfleet jewelry and wore Tau’ri sign teeshirts. Why would he want to relive Firefly or play Capcom’s Aladdin on the SNES?
“…But I could do Saturday?”
I presented him with the facts.
I am not human. I breathe air.
I am more than human. I am not simply a person. I am a me. Completely unique and just like you.
I travel in time. Mostly forward.
I am made up of stars and dark matter. I am pure and evil. I make decisions, not mistakes. I am flawed. I am perfect.
I make miracles and…[Read more]
It should not have been so easy.
He had a past, as did she.
They spent years and years missing each other and talking and fighting and making things more complicated than they actually were.
And now, now that they finally got their stupid stuff together, everything just worked. Sure, they still argued. Sure, they still missed each other…[Read more]
She stared at the formidable opponent before her.
Assessing it’s size, shape, and formulating the best plan of attack.
And then she charged.
She quickly scaled the tree in front of her. When she finally reached the top, she let out a shout of triumph.
This is a true high. Much more than chemical manipulators. This was not a…[Read more]